Thursday, April 2, 2015

When Everywhere You Turn There's Trouble


Hey Friend,

I lie in my bed and the slow whining begins.  I look at the clock and it's 4 am.  I know what's coming...the whining will continue until it crescendos into a full fledged agitated bark.  I try not to be angry or upset; after all, my senior gal Zoe just recently escaped a life threatening battle with severe pancreatitis.  She has doggie dementia and periods of agitated barking punctuate my day.  I know she can't help it.  I love her dearly, but it's hard to start each day this way.

Half asleep I get the coffee going and notice the ants are still here.  Under my breath, I curse them, "There's no crumbs here; go away!"  Four visits from the pest control company and we can't conquer these tiny giants.  I step on Topper's squeaky duck accidentally and, startled, I spill my coffee.  I wonder if he'll bring me a dead squirrel as a prize like he did the other day?

I robotically take my medicine for depression and ocd/anxiety that I have taken for many years.  Like Paul, I ask God many times to take away the thorn, but yet it remains.  Right now it (anxiety) is flaring due to exhaustion and stress. Pouring a bowl of cereal feels like climbing Mt. Everest on days like these.  I look at the long list of to do's for the day and sigh as I brush aside the dust that continues to build on my counters.


It's time to walk the dogs.  I slip one excruciating foot into my sneaker (the only shoes I can tolerate).  After months of waiting, the specialist told me I have a rare post-surgical nerve disorder that will require burning, freezing or cutting of the nerve.  None of the options sound fun.  My son texts me to tell me he's lost his temporary tooth (awaiting dental surgery).  He's at work so he asks me, please,  to make an appointment this morning to get him in at the dentist.  Of course I will have to drive him (another long story).  "Sure, I'll try," I say.

After juggling my schedule and dropping him back at work, I set in on my day's task of helping my "son-in-Christ" work on his resume.  I will make calls trying to help get him a life-saving work visa to get out of the epicenter of evil that is the Middle East.  He fears for his life because they are rounding up Christians, beating and torturing them, throwing them in jail for long sentences or killing them.  Every day he faces this evil and every day I tearfully try to turn my worry about him over to the Lord. 

Sure, I could go on...but do you ever have that feeling like everywhere you turn there's nothing easy, but only trouble?  It's the continual piling up of difficulties that leaves me feeling like I'm in quicksand and will never get out.  I'm afraid to look around the next corner for fear of what it might hold.  I feel small and helpless and afraid. 


"God calls us to hard places to prove our inadequacy."  (Shannan Martin)


I am a doer, a fixer, an initiator and God has brought my prideful self to a total place of inadequacy.


The one verse that keeps repeating in my head is 2 Corinthians 12:9:


My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

I know that the Lord is speaking here, but to whom is He speaking and why?  I go digging. 

Interestingly enough, in this passage, Paul is talking to the church in Corinth and he has just described asking the Lord to take away "this thorn in his flesh".  Like my ocd, Paul had something the Lord decided not to take away.  Instead the Lord says to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

If we are too self-sufficient, pride and conceit begin to build.  God is not glorified when man boasts of his own power and does things in his own strength.  No, God's power is made perfect in our weakness.

Paul goes on to say, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."

So why have I told you all my troubles?  Not for pity, but so that when God brings beauty from these ashes (and He will) that He will be glorified, not me.  Also, read the words "so that". I boast in my weakness so that Christ's power may rest on me.  My admitting my weakness, my inadequacy provides the ideal opportunity for the display of divine power.  Power comes when I admit my weakness.

When I reach the end of my self-sufficiency rope, it sends me running back into the arms of my Heavenly Father.

I come from a long line of stubbornness and I will try with all my might to do things in my power until I finally get to the end of my rope and there's nothing to grasp but thin air.  It is then, when I am weak and inadequate that I know I have no where else to go but to run into the arms of the Lord. 

It is in dependence and reliance on Him that I find strength and peace.

It is under His wings that I find my refuge...

This Easter I will find my strength and my adequacy in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.  The power with which He overcame the grave and the power with which He defeats evil once and for all is power that is given to me by His death on the cross.  The power is mine for the asking...I need only lay down my pride.

Dear Jesus, thank you for being my very present help in times of trouble.  Thank you that in my weakness you are strong; in my inadequacy, You are sufficient.  Thank you for always being there with open arms when I get to the end of myself.  Erase my pride so that I might glorify You.  Thank you for what you did for me on the cross.  I love you Lord. To you be the power and glory forever.  Amen.

Be blessed...



ps.  Please, please continue to pray that God would place a hedge of protection around the school and its director.  Religious tensions are beyond "high" right now.  The good news is that Muslims are becoming disillusioned by their faith and are asking to get their hands on "The Book" in order to read what it has to say about "Issa" (Jesus) and His very different message about love, grace, and forgiveness.  God is good and His message of love, not violence, will triumph!








18 comments:

  1. "Beverly" if I lived closer to your home state I would come and dust the tops of your counters and anything else I could do to ease your current burdens. But because we are miles apart~I will pray about the needs that you mentioned.Thank you for a well-written and encouraging word. It has helped me to put my trials into perspective.I will think on these things.

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    1. Thank you for your gracious offer to dust my counters...more importantly thank you for your kindness to come alongside me in help and prayer. Remember that God cares about YOU and your trials whether they are bigger or smaller than anyone else's. He just wants you to bring them to Him. Have a blessed Easter!
      Blessings and praise,
      Bev

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  2. Dear Bev ... may you find His grace cradling and comforting you, most especially when that thorn edges deeper. I'm praying for you even as we speak, and am delighted that God has brought us together in this season.

    He is risen. Indeed!

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    1. Linda,
      What a beautiful blessing you prayed over me!! I am so glad God willed our paths to cross in this giant blogosphere!! May you have a joyous Easter...He is risen indeed!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  3. Bev,

    Thank you so much for your honest words. Life is so "life" sometimes and seems so heavy and overwhelming. How could we go on but to run to the open arms of the Lord? I pray for you this day, this moment, that God will pour out his life-giving grace and peace on you and that you will be strengthened to face each moment. May God continue to be glorified in your life.

    Peace,
    Nancy Macdonald

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    1. Nancy,
      So uplifted to read your words here! Life is so "life" sometimes - how true!! How thankful I am that during those times, my Lord's arms are always open wide for me to run to (for all of us to run to). Thank you, too, for your prayers and encouragement. I do see God bringing beauty from the ashes...praise! So glad you stopped by :)
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  4. It is eerie how similar my personality is to yours. I too have struggled with depression/anxiety for a long time and take meds daily. I'm working through a lot of lifelong negative thinking and trust The Lord is with me through evey step. He continues to use my weaknesses to draw me closer to Him as I realize daily I'm not the one in control and have to be completely dependent on Him. It's a process since I'm a very independent person. I'm so thankful for Gods mercy and grace and patience!!!

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    1. Sarah,
      Jesus' message runs so contrary to what the world says. The world says, "Take control; be independent." If we follow the world we are anxious messes trying to be in control all the time and we live without community in our independent self-sufficiency. The older I get, and the more I learn to depend on Him, the more joy, peace, and contentment I find in my life. The Lord is with you, Sarah, patiently guiding you and perfecting your faith.
      Blessings and ((hugs)),
      Bev

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  5. It felt like home when I stopped here today and I find that we share a lot in common-not with the doggie problems though! I am middle-aged, I have two grown kids and my go to verse is the one you quote above-My grace is sufficient for you... It truly is the second part-My power is made perfect in weakness that reminds me over and over that God's got this! Thank you for blessing me today as I begin a very rainy Tuesday.

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    1. Mary,
      I'm so glad you stopped by! It's always nice to meet another middle-aged blogger...it's hard to keep up with this world of technology that is always changing lol. Like you, many times I have to turn to scripture (especially the one we share in common) to remember that God's got this!
      Many blessings to you,
      Bev

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  6. Bev, thanks for sharing what you found in your "dig" with #raralinkup. "It is in dependence and reliance on Him that I find strength and peace." Love that! Have a great day, Kim Stewart
    www.kimstewartinspired.com

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    1. Kim,
      Every trial I face always brings me back to a dependence and reliance on Him...and I believe that's right where He wants us to be. Some people may argue "dependence" on anything is bad, but my dependence on the Lord brings me great freedom. Thanks for your words of encouragement!!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  7. Bev, so grateful for this honest and highly relatable post. It is when we are brought low that God is raised high. You are so right. I just wish I didn't have to get sooo low before I remembered to give it all up to God each time! Grateful for your words today.

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    1. Jenni,
      Life is really hard sometimes, but like you said, "When we are brought low...God is raised high." Like you I still have to reach the bottom before I give it up to God. I believe that is part of our fallen nature, but God in his infinitely patient love still rescues us...Praise! Thank you for joining me today!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  8. Oh Bev, 2 Cor. 12:9-10 has been my go-to scripture many times. He truly does use those weak moments to display his power, when we let him, and letting him is key. I am continuing to pray for your family and for the school. Much love, friend. xoxo

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    1. Abby,
      Always so good to hear from you! You are so right when you say that God will use our weak moments when we let Him. It's truly a daily, hourly, surrendering to Him. Thank you so much for your continuing prayers. You don't know how much that means to me!!
      Love and ((hugs)),
      Bev

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  9. Thank you for sharing your heart. Even though the struggles of this life are so hard and sometimes just seem to pile up to feel so overwhelming, it's amazing hoe God ca always work through this to give our story the "so that" part. God is always there in the trials and we'll see Him at work when we're ready to let Him fight the battle for us - "so that" He may be glorified. Saying a prayer for you and the school.

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    1. Kathryn,
      I love how you put it...that God always works through [struggles] to give our story the "so that" part! One of my favorite verses that reminds me that God is eager and willing to fight for us is Exodus 14:14: The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still. Thank you so very much for your prayers for the school, the director and the children...they really need them right now!
      Blessings to you,
      Bev

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