Wednesday, April 26, 2017

For Those Of Us Who Are "Fixers"

Hey Friend,

You notice that I include myself in this title?  In fact, many times I am writing to myself (sounds better than talking to myself) and I invite you to listen in.

The greatest challenge that people, like myself, who try to "fix" situations or people run into is "waiting".  I believe if you are, by nature, one who tries to fix things, you are conversely one who is not so great at waiting.  Am I hitting a nerve with anyone?

When I am trying to be obedient and I am waiting and I don't see anything happening (from my vantage point), I get the misguided notion that just because I can't see it, nothing is going on.  What false thinking.  Being a "fixer" by nature, I think if I'm not "fixing" it then it won't get fixed.....I know, silly girl. I think this is a little, or not so little, thing called pride.

This pride will cause me to do other foolish things like take matters in my own hands or I try to run ahead of God.  These usually only lead to pain and frustration and many times sin.  I forget that God knows what is best for me and my life AND he knows what is best for others and their lives.  

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways SUBMIT to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I like this version because instead of saying "acknowledge" God, it goes one step further and says "submit" to God.  Submitting means that I place my will and purpose below that of God.

God has been teaching me many things about fixing and waiting.  Perhaps there are so many scriptures about waiting because we are called on to wait quite often and sometimes for long periods of time.

A friend of mine who attends Al-Anon classes has shared with me some of the things she's been learning about her adult child... especially when it comes to dealing with a loved one who is struggling in life and we feel a need or compulsion to help or to fix.

The Three C's:

1.  I didn't cause it (addiction, broken relationship, behavior, disobedience)

2.  I can't cure it (when things are broken they can only be cured by God's unbroken Word) - I added this second part.

3.  I can't control it (If I think I can control it, that's usually Pride talking - me again.)

Another helpful adage is this:


What I understand this to mean is that I need to stay in my lane with God.  I need to concentrate on something I can do something about and that is - work on MY relationship with God.  

I need to let GOD work on the person in their lane beside me.  Their walk is between them and God and I need to quit trying to cross over the line and meddle in their lane.  I can certainly help if called upon, but I need to let God call the shots.

So here I am back to if I can't control or fix it....I need to wait on God.

Good friend and writer Jeanne Takenaka says, "The hardest seasons are those when we wait with no answer from God."

Yes, God can and will be silent sometimes for a purpose, but these truths I know:

1.  God is working in the waiting.  (Even when I can't see it)

2.  In waiting, God is stretching my "patience muscles".   Ouch!

3.  Prayer IS doing something.  It's doing the most important thing!

4.  God is MORE THAN ABLE to handle anyone or any situation.

5.  Often God works better alone (without our "help")

6.  God ALWAYS works for the good of those who love Him and for His glory (not ours).

I am learning that God is always hard at work moving and orchestrating things that I do not see.  I can't see Him working in someone's heart, for example.  All I know is that I can lift my prayers, not lean on MY understanding of the situation, and trust that God is certainly able.

God's got this (whatever or whomever "this" is).

In the meantime, my job is to wait, pray, and thank Him in advance for what He is about to perform.  

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
(Psalms 27:13-14)

Are you a "fixer" by nature?  In what situations is God calling you to submit to His knowledge and authority?  If you can't "fix" the situation, what would God have YOU work on?  Can you let go of your understanding and trust and wait on God?  Take a moment and lift your struggle up to Him....He's listening....

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me when, in wanting to see change, I pridefully run ahead of you or try to take matters into my own hands. Help me Lord, to submit my understanding to Your authority.  Help me to trust that you are in control and to take comfort in the fact that there are some things I just can't control.  Give me patience as I wait upon You Lord - trusting and knowing that you are more than able and that you've got this under control.  Help me to "stay in my lane" and concentrate on MY relationship with you.  Make me an expectant prayer warrior who gives thanks for what you can do.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Be blessed...

ps.  Would you please pray for me as I will be having my 4th surgery in 5 years?  This is a more complicated surgery to try to correct an unsuccessful bunion surgery from 3 years ago that left me with residual and continual nerve pain in my foot.  I would certainly welcome your prayers for the nerve pain to be alleviated, or better yet, eliminated.  I know my God is more than able!!  Thank you... (Surgery is May 10th)