Thursday, November 12, 2015

But My Story Isn't Dramatic Enough

Hey Friend,


Maybe, like me, you've sat in church and when they run the video clip of someone's life testimony you are resigned to the fact that your life testimony would not be video worthy.  Perhaps you have not hit rock bottom, come back from a drug addiction, wandered the prodigal path, or had a dramatic or defining moment in which you gave it all over to God in desperation. Maybe you have...that's okay too!


Sometimes I am envious of Paul, who on the road to Damascus, was stopped in his tracks by a great light and the audible voice of God, calling him to give up his ways of persecuting Christians and instead follow Christ in going and making disciples of all nations.  This is the stuff from which blockbusters are made. 


My story, however, is not so grand.  I can somewhat relate to Paul, in that I grew up in the church.  Just like Paul knew old testament scripture and the Jewish law inside and out, I knew all the famous Bible stories and could probably quote them verbatim to you.  I knew the history of the Christian church, all about the reformation, could quote scripture, knew the facts that God was and is the ultimate Creator and his Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for my sins so that I could live forever with God in heaven.  It was all there...


But for me, the most passionate love story that was ever written was simply head knowledge.  I didn't KNOW my Savior...


I accepted Christ as my Savior...which basically means I invited Jesus to come and live in my heart as the Lord of my life...at the age of 13.  Intrinsically, I knew that something key was missing in my life.  I was basically a good kid...colored inside the lines...but longed for someone to truly know me and love me just as I was.  Jesus seemed to fit this description. 


I wish I could say that from that moment on, I lit the world on fire.  I didn't.  I began reading my Bible more and I prayed to Jesus (God still intimidated me).  I continued in my youth group and going to church. 


My coming to relationship with God and His Son was less of an explosion and more of a slow burn.


I went to a Christian college and managed to sail through without falling too far off the wagon.  Faith was still intact, but I wasn't taking the world by storm.  I have to say that it wasn't until I was married and the rubber began to meet the road through trials, that my faith truly began to grow.


Not knowing any better, I was struggling in what was an emotionally and verbally abusive marriage.  This was compounded by the fact that immediately after the birth of our first child, I was uprooted and plunked down in the middle of the Midwest, where I knew no one, with an infant daughter, in the most frigid of months...January.


What was initially treated as post partum depression (and later diagnosed as OCD anxiety disorder and depression), sent me in a downward spiral.  At one point I found myself in the emergency room of the hospital because I seriously entertained thoughts of ending my life.  No matter how hard I tried I could not climb out of the pit of despair that I was in. 


Perhaps this was my defining moment...or a defining moment...in my journey.


I found myself sobbing into my pillow and desperately crying out with groans that only the Holy Spirit could make on my behalf, asking Jesus that if He is who He says He is...would He rescue me?


I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  (Psalm 40:1-2)


God and His Son made good on their promises.  There would continue to be defining moments in my life.  Transformations that took place in which I built altars, etched in my mind, to God for His faithfulness.  These experiences were not once and done...everything was hunky dorey from that point on encounters, no...


It was more of a continual wooing and relentless pursuit on the part of Jesus that has brought me into a deeper and closer walk with Him.


For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)


Some milestone moments include, but are not limited to:


Realizing that all the striving I had been doing...trying to be perfect in God's eyes...was in fact pride masquerading as piety.  The only way to be perfect in God's sight was through the blood of Christ.  All other forms of attempting to earn or to find favor were fruitless...filthy rags if you will.


Realizing that God is not a curmudgeon sitting on His throne in heaven keeping tally of all the times I screw up.  I had erroneously given God human attributes.  Coming to know His fathomless, unending love and mercy toward me was (and still is) life changing.


Realizing that the enemy was in a war for my mind and he would pull out any stops to attack my Achilles heal and get me to buy into his lies about me.  Learning to recognize the red flags that he was at work and kicking him to the curb sooner rather than later, was (and is) a major growing in faith experience.


Letting God love me through the absolute despair of infidelity and divorce let me see a side of God that I never dreamed could be there.


Staring the big "C" in the face and overcoming.


Parenting a prodigal is teaching me that just like Jesus wooed me, my prodigal may not have just one defining moment, but instead, a series of baby steps back into the loving arms of his Heavenly Father.  It is also teaching me the true power of prayer - my prayers and other prayer warriors who pray on my behalf. 


Starting a Christian School for orphans, destitute and impoverished children in Pakistan (midst ISIS persecution) has let me see first hand that God is able to do all things through us if we will just make ourselves available.  I'm learning to say, "Not my will, but Your's be done, Lord!" and I'm learning to wait...even when it kills me.


I'll be the first to say that I don't like being in the crucible...who does??


I do believe, however, that it's in the refining fire that trials bring, that our faith is refined, deepened, and strengthened. 


After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.  (1 Peter 5:10) 


It is stepping out of the boat, onto the waves, and taking baby steps toward Christ.  We revile the storm swirling around us, but His arms remain outstretched and beckon us to keep walking forward.


No, my story is probably not movie material, but it is MY story.  People can argue theology until the cows come home, but no one can argue the Lord's legacy of love to me in my life's story. 


What is your life's story?  Is God still writing it?  Have you shared it with anyone lately?  We ALL have a story to tell and together these pieces make the puzzle complete.


Dear Heavenly Father, I praise you and thank you that before you made me, you called me to be yours.  I thank you for my story and that it is unique to me.  Thank you that you never gave up of forsook me...with relentless love you pursued me.  I was never out of your sight or your grasp.  Thank you for your everlasting arms underneath me that never let me fall.  Yes, life can be brutal, but Your love is bigger still.  Give me courage, Lord, and help me be brave to share my story, our story, with those who need to hear.  It is in the precious name of Jesus that I pray, Amen.


Be blessed...



ps. Urgent Need: Needed...caring and compassionate hearts to bring Christmas and the joy that it brings to the impoverished children of Redeemer Christian School in Pakistan.  We have six children still to cover.  Only $25. will bring smiles and delight to one child who otherwise will receive nothing.  $25 includes: a warm article of clothing, a small gift or toy, and a hearty Christmas meal and joy in retelling/acting out the Christmas story.  Let these children know they are not forgotten...please.


Send contributions to:  Bev Rihtarchik (put RCS in the memo line)
                                      103 Silver Lining Lane
                                       Cary, NC  27513


**include your email address so you can see pictures of the joy you will bring**

24 comments:

  1. Your story and mine have similarities, Bev. I, too, grew up in the church and attended a Christian college. Myy life of faith has also been a series of baby steps. A few giant steps have occurred, just as you've experienced--milestone moments born out of difficulty. Through it all, my faith has remained intact. Never have I questioned God's existence or the truth of his Word. I've never doubted that Jesus is the only One who can save me from the death penalty of my sin. Even when my choices have been unwise, God's faithfulness to me has always been evident. Perhaps there's something to be said for a long life of steady, uninterrupted growth in the faith! Just as you said: God's legacy of love is seen in that kind of story, too.

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    1. Nancy,
      Yet another thing we have in common :) Your story is beautiful and needs to be celebrated too! God leaves a legacy of love through a beautiful weaving together of many stories...thanks so much for sharing yours here. I am comforted and encouraged as well!
      Blessings,
      Bev
      ps. need to get to practicing Christmas carols on the piano!!

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  2. Hi Bev. May be I should pen these Life Milestone moments too! May be it is not grand or moviemaking kind...But it my story. And God is still writing out my script or do I say I am still living out my script!
    Thank you Friend for this lovely thoughtful post.
    Visiting from #Dance with Jesus
    Sweet blessings to you

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    1. Ifeoma,
      Yes, your story is worth being told! And you're right...your story is still being written. Glad I've given you food for thought about penning your life milestone moments...let them be your legacy of God's love.
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  3. Oh, me too. Nothing dramatic going on in this girl's story either, but I'm thankful for the way God meets me in my mundane moments and empowers me to be faithful over the long haul. I'm beginning to embrace the truth that so much of life is just a matter of showing up and showing up and showing up . . .
    I don't have to do cartwheels or put on a laser show once I get there. People just need to hear truth and learn to find it for themselves in God's Word.
    Thanks, Bev, for your words, which always lead us toward that Truth.

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    1. Michele,
      I love the way you phrase things...yes, life IS a matter of continuing to show up and no, we don't need to put on a laser show when we get there lol. Our stories can speak truth, and hopefully point people in the direction where genuine Truth can be found. Thanks, as always, for your encouragement.
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  4. This too was my overwhelming need as I "longed for someone to truly know me and love me just as I was." It's most likely every heart's burning desire to be seen, loved, accepted just as we are. And it's a "continual wooing and relentless pursuit " on the part of God that makes all of our stories ones of wonderful redemption and transformation. Your testimony is no less valid for being a slow burning rather than a fiery fire one. God has obviously been at work in your life and brought you into a deeper awareness of who you are in Christ. That's a tale worth telling. That's a joy worth sharing. Thank you for sharing it here, Bev. Blessed to be your neighbour over at Weekend Whispers! :)

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    1. Joy,
      So glad you stopped by! How true that we all have an innate desire to be seen, loved, and accepted just as we are. Jesus is the only one who can truly look upon our heart and He is the only one who pursues us relentlessly until He finds us. So thankful that He did and does pursue me. Thank you for your encouragement...
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  5. I am so thankful you continue to share your story with us over at Weekend Whispers.

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    1. Barbie,
      With all you have going on...thank you for stopping by!!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  6. You say your story is not movie material but God doesn't call us to a story that is a headliner. Instead He call us to shine our stories for Him. I am learning that everyday. I'm not sure I am very good at it but God will take each of our stories no matter how big they are or aren't. He loves us equally and is honored when we share Him with others.

    You do a beautiful job of sharing Jesus right here on your blog. I always love stopping by to read your words and hear God speak to me through your words. Blessings!

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    1. Mary,
      Thank you for your sweet words! You are right, God will use each of our stories as long as we are willing to share them. May mine point to Him...
      Blessings sweet friend,
      Bev

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  7. Don't you love how our stories can be as different as night and day, yet there are common threads of faith that weave us all together into one big family?

    I so resonate, Bev, with pieces of your story. It was that season, that dark night of the soul, that brought me to the end of myself, and totally into His arms of grace. Praise God that He restores those years that the locusts have eaten {Joel 2} and gives us opportunities to redeem the pain we've experienced.

    Hugs to you, friend ...

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    1. Linda,
      Yes, I love the common threads. I'm sorry, yet grateful for your "dark night of the soul". Often, if it were not for the pain, God wouldn't not have been able to draw us unto Himself. Thank you for the reminder that he restores the years that the locusts have eaten...all Praise be to Him!
      Hugs back to you,
      Bev

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  8. Thank you for sharing your testimony of faith, Bev. Your story is an incredible encouragement because it shows me how powerful God is in the battle of both physical and mental oppression.

    The first three of your "Realizing" milestones have been major ones for me too, except the first one you mentioned is what caused me to turn my back on God for twenty years, as I came to believe I wasn't good enough, as I tried and of course kept failing, so even trying felt like I was being "hypocritical".

    I also recognize that deep dark pit. I was ready to give up on life, when flashbacks of my mother's last hours came back to haunt and cripple me, coupled with lies that God was out to hurt everyone He loves. I don't know what I would have done if in crying out to God one night, He hadn't responded in a powerful way, bringing a Scripture that spoke powerful truth against my greatest fears of Him leaving me, my mother's broken body remaining broken and never seeing my Mum again. In that moment of utter despair and crying out to Him, I opened my Bible (The Message) to John 6 : 35-40...of all the verses in the Bible, these speak most powerfully against the fears I had in that moment. Still gives me goosebumps thinking of it. Thank you for encouraging us to reflect on how God has been working in our lives. Your testimony may not be "glitzy", but it is powerfully encouraging.

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    1. Anna,
      I am glad that my "non-glitzy" story could be of encouragement to you. Thank you so much for being willing to share pieces of your story and what brought you back into His loving arms again. May God richly bless you for using your "life arrow" to point to Him. As always, love having you here...
      Blessings and ((hugs)),
      Bev

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  9. Bev,

    What an adventure God had brought you on! Isn't He good to give our life richness and depth? God has definitely been faithful in your life and led you to an amazing ministry. I loved reading about it this morning. Visiting from #raralinkup

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    1. Lisa,
      Thank you so much for visiting, Lisa...you are always welcome here! So thankful that God is enabling me to pour out into others what He has so graciously poured into me.
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  10. Bev,
    Thank you for sharing your story! I'm so grateful that God is still writing all of our stories and that offers us hope for the days ahead!

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    1. Valerie,
      Thank you for the reminder that there IS hope for the days ahead because God isn't finished writing out stories yet. Love having you here, Valerie!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  11. Thank you for sharing your story Bev. Being raised in a Christian home, I can totally relate to your story! I am always encouraged and inspired when I read a story like yours. I am excited and humbled to see how God will use me going forward now that I have recommitted my life to Him! May God bless you and yours in all your endeavors!

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    1. Horace,
      Praise for you recommitting your life to Him. Even those of us who have walked with Jesus for a long time, need to rekindle the fire that is within us. May God richly bless you and use you to bring His love to others! Thank you so much for your encouraging words here!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  12. Sounds to me like you are living a great story! Perhaps we need a greater appreciation for low drama type stories because redemption comes in a million different ways. You simply can't compare! I always thought my story was boring but now that I am writing it, it's more interesting than I thought. I am glad you are sharing yours! #livefree

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    1. Astrid,
      Your story is not boring...it needs to be shared...it needs to be woven into the fabric that reveals God's great love. Low drama stories have a special place too!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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