Thursday, November 5, 2015

Grumbling vs. Gratitude

Hey Friend,


I will be fair and clue you in.  I am writing this post to myself as I hear God speaking to my heart and I'm letting you listen in and read along.  I have a bad case of the grumbles most likely due to stress.  I woke up with a stiff neck from stress the night before and my jaw hurt, probably from being clenched all night.


You see, my beloved, four legged, sweet, senior gal, Zoe is almost 14 years old and has "doggie dementia".  Yes, dogs can have dementia just like people.  She can't hear and she can't see too well.  Physically, she's still in good shape...loves her short walks and can get up and down stairs.  She will even run with you for a short distance.  You can tell, though, that she is confused and disoriented at times.  When she's not sleeping she wants to be where I am and gets distraught if she doesn't see me. 


We get through the days okay, but around 3 pm., now with the time change, her anxiety increases.  She is clearly more disoriented, restless, and agitated.  She'll move around a lot and can't seem to find contentment and peace.  In people they call it "Sundowners Syndrome".  With dogs, though, they bark or vocalize.  It starts out as intermittent barking and then crescendos as the evening drags on.  By 8 pm. it's incessant.


 I love her dearly because she is so sweet.  I don't want to see her suffer. I know she's not doing any of this purposefully, but my husband and I begin to grow irritated and resentful.  It's a vicious cycle that repeats itself night after night.  We've tried every combination of medicine and natural remedies.


The problem is...there is no cure.  It is pretty certain that it will either stay the same or get worse.  I try to weigh whether it's more compassionate to let go or keep holding on because her good moments outweigh or at least balance the bad???  Clearly I am torn and it's tearing at my heart.  I don't like the moody, grumbling person I am turning into.  My spirit is clearly focused on the negative right now and I don't like being here. 


I asked God for wisdom and He very clearly led me to Psalm 103. 


Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.  Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.


The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.  (Psalm 103: 1-5, 8)


When I read this I want to cry because right now I am so inwardly focused on my misery and grumbling, but everything in these verses is so outwardly focused. 


Not only is it outwardly focused, but it is intrinsically good.


Instead of grumbling, David is offering up gratitude.  He repeats the word "Praise" three times.  He is actively thanking God for all of his blessings.  He is not dismissing or forgetting all the benefits that have come from His hand.  He is thanking and praising God from the depths of his soul.


Could outward gratitude be the antidote for inward grumbling???


I am then struck by God's outward and good deeds toward David.  David names several  action verbs that are outward and good intentioned...


He forgives all my sins, and heals all my diseases, He redeems me from the pit, and He crowns me with love and compassion. He satisfies my desires, and He renews my youth.


This makes me pause and think...if I were to tally my words of grumbling vs. my words of gratitude, how would I make out?  What would the tally reveal?  I believe it would reveal that...


An inwardly focused soul can be no outwardly good....and...


God is, indeed, good and I need to remember to thank and praise Him.


I am also struck by verse 8 and I read it over slowly emphasizing certain words...


The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.


Unlike me, whose compassion toward, and love for my dog can quickly turn to irritation and resentment, God is not like that.  Let me say it again...


God is not like me...Praise! 


God's compassion never stops flowing...it's endless.  His grace never dries up...it's a perpetual pool.  He is ALWAYS slow to anger...never losing His temper.  God is abounding in love...His kindness toward me never fails.


Before I come down too hard on myself, I read verses 13 and 14:


As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who revere him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.


What a relief to know that God has compassion on me...because He truly knows what a frail mortal I am. 


He knows that I am dust.


So where does this all leave me??  It is getting harder and harder to be outwardly focused on others.  It's getting more difficult to show compassion and love toward the weak.  Grumbling vs. gratitude continues to come from my lips.


I pray for my sweet baby girl to pass in her sleep because I don't want to have to make this decision. 


I want to have God's depth of love and compassion...but I don't want to play God...


So I pray for the strength and wisdom to deal with what is at the core of my grumbling.  I pray for the ability to show gratitude in the midst of trials. 


Life is not always black or white...sometimes pain and gratitude need to coexist. 


I pray for patience to let this be so, in my life, right now.


So I will offer up a prayer of praise and thanksgiving.  I will ask for God's wisdom which He promises me.  I will sit with and celebrate the sweet companion God has given me for the past 14 years. 


And when the time is right...I will pray her on....


Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for leading me lovingly to your word when I am struggling.  I praise you and thank you for your never ending grace, compassion, and lovingkindness toward me.  I am so thankful that you are not like me...Your ways are so much higher.  I can't even comprehend the depth of Your love toward me.  Where there is confusion in my life, give me Your wisdom.  When my heart is grumbling, bring to mind gifts to be grateful for. More than anything, Lord, give me Your peace that passes understanding.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.


Be blessed...




ps. I am seeking compassionate hearts to bring some measure of joy to the orphans and destitute children who find refuge at Redeemer Christian School in Pakistan.  I have trouble picturing a child not getting a single gift for Christmas.  Will you help me bring a gift to each of our 30 precious children this year?  A Gift of only $25. will make that happen.  We are still a ways off from making this a reality and I'm asking for your help.  One child...one gift...one Christmas meal.  You can make that happen...


Please send contributions soon to:


Bev Rihtarchik (put RCS in the memo line)
103 Silver Lining Lane
Cary, NC  27513


PRAISE: for our attorney who is a godsend and walking us through the filing process for 501c3 non-profit status.  God is indeed good!


For more on Redeemer Christian School visit my "MISSIONS" tab.

22 comments:

  1. Praying for you and your sweet girl, Bev! I love that you said that sometimes pain and gratitude need to coexist.... YES! Beautiful words today. #livefreeThursday

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  2. Crystal,
    I'm such a black and white thinker, so it's been a challenge for me to let pain and gratitude coexist in this heart of mine. I'm glad that resonated with you too!
    Blessings this day,
    Bev

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  3. Ah, Bev, I'm sorry that your sweet dog has become a source of stress. Following your surgery and therapy I was praying you'd experience some peace and rest for awhile! With Crystal above, I greatly appreciate your observation that pain and gratitude sometimes need to coexist. Layering gratitude over pain surely does muffle the latter! Thank you for demonstrating the power of scripture for painful times.

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    1. Nancy,
      I, too, was really hoping for a respite of peace...but God has challenged me to find peace amidst the storms of life. Letting pain and gratitude coexist is really a challenge for me, but you're right that layering gratitude over pain does muffle the latter. Thank you so much for your prayers and concern.
      Blessings sweet friend,
      Bev

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  4. Oh, so sorry about your sweet dog. And what a heartache to watch her suffer and be confused while you are helpless. So thankful for the comfort that God is providing to you through His Word. I'm trusting that you are feeling better today and will be able, somehow, to catch up on your rest. Blessings to you!

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    1. Michele,
      I'm so thankful, as well, that God continually directs me back to his Word to find comfort. I just wish that I didn't wrestle so much before turning to His balm for my aching heart. Thank you for your kind words...
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  5. Bev, I am so sorry about your sweet dog. It is not easy to watch nor make a decision. So much wisdom in your words though. May God have mercy on you & your dog. How blessed we are that we can bring our concerns even for our pets to Him. Blessings!

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    1. Joanne,
      With all the things going on in this world, being so upset about my dog seems kind of shallow. Thank you for giving my pain credence and you are so right that we are blessed to be able to bring ALL of our concerns (no matter the size) to a merciful God!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  6. Try not to beat yourself up for feeling the grief and strain of caring for your beloved dog. God understands your grumblings and heartache. Keep reaching for His Word - He is faithful to carry us through!

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  7. Carrie,
    Thank you so much for your compassion and the gentle reminder to keep reaching for His Word! He IS faithful!
    Blessings,
    Bev

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  8. Bev, this is such a sweet post. Love how you dissected the Psalm to reveal it's beautiful wisdom. Letting go of our animal children is hard. May God give you discernment as to the right time.

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    1. Thanks Christy,
      It truly is so hard to know when is the right time. Thank you for your prayers for discernment...I need them. Thankful that God led me straight to this Psalm...He IS Good!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  9. I thought I had left a comment here yesterday but am not seeing it. Your words aways feel timely to me and speak to me right where I need it most. I am blessed that you listen to God and allow Him to guide your words so your readers can benefit from the insight that is provided. I am praying for you as you walk through this difficult time with your dog. Blessings!

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    1. Mary,
      I'm glad that God talking to me was able to speak to you too. Like I said, I am often writing to myself and allowing the reader to listen in and read along. Thank you so much for your sweet prayers...they are truly appreciated!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  10. Ahhh, Bev. What a challenging season. To love your baby and not be irritated by the behaviors she can't help. I love Psalm 103 and the reminder to praise. That outward gratitude is often a choice. But when we choose it, that's when we can have Jesus' inward peace.

    And you're right: there are times when pain and gratitude need to co-exist.

    Beautiful post today.

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    1. Jeanne,
      I always appreciate your insights here and at (in)courage. How true that when we choose outward gratitude, we can have Jesus' inner peace...dwelling on this today. Thank you!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  11. Oh Bev. I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. My mom had two precious dogs that lived until they were TWENTY. We called them the "Old Ladies." Murphy got like your Zoe. She would stand up in the middle of the room and bark, and Mom would have to settle her back down on her bed. She'd calm down though, it wasn't incessant. We loved those old ladies and were sorry when they were gone. May the Lord comfort and strengthen you.

    Thanks for your words today I've had a case of the grumbles myself the past two days. Trying to shake it off with gratitude, like you!

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    1. Betsy,
      Wow, I can't imagine dogs living twenty years...they must have been well loved :) Thank you for your prayers for strength...I need it. I so want to shake the grumbles...they are not a nice place to be...guess that means we need to continue turning to His word for direction...
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  12. Amen to the antidote for grumbling, mumbling, complaining, griping. Speaking gratitude right and left, looking for things to praise God for, seeing His presence in the wind and the storm.

    This is the direction I want to keep heading in. Thanks, Bev, for such a beautiful encouragement to keep going there!

    ;-}

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    1. Linda,
      I know what to do...but often I don't do it...gratitude does lift my eyes, my soul, and my spirits, but yet I get caught in the grumbling. Joining with you in trying to choose the grateful direction. Always so good to have you here, Linda!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  13. Oh Bev, I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I know what important parts of our family they become. It sounds like you have a beautiful and impressive mindset. You've inspired me today with your God-led attitude. Praying for you and your sweet family member.

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    1. Candace,
      Thank you so much for your prayers...they are being heard and felt!! I'm thankful to God that He never gives up on grumbling me...and with His grace turns my heart around.
      Blessings,
      Bev

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