Saturday, May 13, 2017

Why, I Think, God Says What He Says

Hey Friend,

It's a good thing I wrote this post before my surgery.  Being on heavy duty pain medicine, has left me fuzzy-brained and not able to focus (you may be saying so what else is new?).  Thank you for your caring and compassionate prayers.  I have truly felt them.....now I wait, pray, and thank God for what He is going to do in my life.

I've been thinking about why God says what He says.  The Bible says, and I've heard many a pastor preach, on the subject of God hating divorce. It's usually a guilt trip. Naturally this hits close to home because I have gone through the tragedy that is divorce and am now remarried.  Yes, I am happily remarried, but the road here has been far from a fairy tale.  In fact just the opposite.  Divorce is hell and I think God's heart for us is to not have to travel there.

Even if your divorce meets the Biblical criteria for divorce, it is still the tearing apart of a union that God meant to last until death do us part.  I don't think God says He hates divorce for His sake, I think He hates it for our sake.

I look at all the lives that were impacted by my/our divorce.  This didn't just traumatize the two adults involved....it rippled out to our children, family, friends, future relationships, our relationship with God, etc. I felt guilt and failure that took a long time to shed.  It still affects things even today.

At the moment, I have a very strained relationship with my daughter who I thought, for sure, would be the first one to rise up and call me blessed.  I know that her hurt comes, in part, from insecurities stemming from the divorce. Divorce tempts children to take up sides, harbor resentments, place blame, internalize guilt.  I believe that God hates the feelings that the children of divorce (no matter their age) have to deal with.  He hurts, not for Himself, but for them.

God has counted and caught the many tears I've cried into my pillow from the divorce and now the strained relationship with my daughter.  He doesn't want this for me...for us...but this can be the aftermath of divorce.  I know that God is still working.  He is still orchestrating and He will continue to work these broken pieces into something for good, but I believe He hates it for us that we have to shed tears, and have heartache, and experience strained relationships.  It's not so much that God hates divorce, but that He hates it for US.

In the Ten Commandments, God clearly says Honor Thy Mother and Father.  I'm sure, as a teenager, I thought - Yeah right God, do you know how lame they are??  You're cramping my style if you want me to honor them and all the demands they put on me.  Sound familiar? Of course, those were the days when there was a healthy dose of fear mixed in there, so I tried to "fly right" lest the boom be lowered on my head.

Even as I grew older, I always thought of the Ten Commandments as something that God wrote to infringe upon our fun, cramp our free speech, boss me around.  I thought it was all about Him and His rules.  How far from the truth I was.

One day, when my parents were visiting with us, I worked up the nerve to tell my dad (in a not so nice way) all the things he had done wrong - how he had failed to let me know I was loved - how he was overly critical - and on and on. In essence, I let him have it and I felt justified in my mind.

My Father passed away five years ago and you know to this very minute, I wish I could take back all the hurtful things I said to my dad in anger.  Sure, my dad had his faults, but God called me to honor him.  And, I believe that honor sometimes means just keeping my big mouth shut!!!

By breaking that command, I didn't necessarily hurt God, I have hurt myself.  I have to live with the remorse of saying words I wish I could take back.  

God told me to honor my father not for Him, not for my earthly father, but for me.  I know he mourns with me when I feel remorse.  He catches my tears when I pray and ask Him to give my earthly father a hug and tell him that I love him.  

One last example and I'll let this rest...God says to keep the marriage bed pure. Again, he doesn't say this to squelch our fun.  My husband and I kept this command as we were dating (and no it's not easy), but the blessings that have come from following God's commands are tremendous.  There is no guilt; there is no comparing; there is no remorse had the relationship not worked out.

I have seen, however, the trauma that having sex outside marriage has caused. I know of young women who have wound up pregnant and then further bring years of agony upon themselves by opting for abortions.

I know young men who wait with fear and trepidation to get the results of STD testing only to find out it's positive and now they have the awful responsibility of sharing that with other partners.  

I've seen what HIV can do to a marriage, a family, and life itself.  It can take it away in an instant.  The wages of sin are death (literally).  But, before you go thinking I'm some puritanical hell fire and brimstone writer.  I want to emphasize that:

God's commands are not about His anger toward us.  They are, I believe, ALL about His great love for us and NOT wanting to see us have to go through all the heartache, turmoil, worry, anxiety, remorse....that our sins lead us straight into.

God loves us and He created us and gave us rules for living so that we COULD HAVE LIFE AND HAVE IT ABUNDANTLY.  That is His greatest desire for us.  

He doesn't want to squelch our fun, He wants to enhance it.  He doesn't want us saying things that might hurt others in the moment, but will haunt us for a lifetime.  

I think God says what He says and hates what he hates because HE LOVES US SO MUCH.  Beyond words.  He loves us higher, deeper, wider, farther than we could ever imagine. 

To the Ten Commandments, He attaches a promise:  "Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."  (Deuteronomy 5:16)

God gives us commands so that it may go well with us...Amen!

“As the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you. Remain in My love. If you keep My commands you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.” (John 15:9-11)

It's kind of ironic, but one of the most self-serving things we can do is follow God's commands.  Think about it?!

Furthermore, if we fail to follow His commands, but later repent of our sins, He is faithful to forgive us.  Our sins are removed as far as the east is from the west.

What an AWESOME and LOVING God we have who cares so much about us that He wants it to go well with us.  I think God says what He says not for Him, but for us.  He knows how some of our poor decisions will play out and He would love to spare us that heartache.  

Still, if we hand Him the shattered pieces of our lives, He may not put them back together exactly as they were before, but He can make something even more beautiful from them.  God is still in the business of bringing beauty from ashes.

Why do YOU think God says what he says?  How have you witnessed blessings by listening to God?  How have you experienced heartache by disobeying? What do you sense God saying to you right now?  What would He have you know?

Dear Heavenly Father,
I praise you for your goodness and how your very heart for me is love. You ARE love and you cannot deny yourself.  Help me to see that the path you have laid out for me is for my own good.  You want me to have life and have it abundantly so you give me direction on how to make this happen.  Enable me to "color within the lines" so that it might go well with me.  You say these things to me, I believe, to spare me heartache.  Great is your faithfulness.  Forgive me of my past sins and invite me into life everlasting with you.  I love your commands, Lord, give me the strength to obey.  I can't do this in my own power!  In Jesus name I pray,  Amen.

Be blessed.....





ps.  Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes for my surgery.  I am slowly recuperating...it will be a long haul but trying to be patient.  


29 comments:

  1. You are so right about God's commandments being set for our good so we can enjoy life abundantly. Thank you for this dose of encouragement. Now get ready, Bev! God's blessings are about to increase as a result of your honesty and humility. In one chapter of Proverbs alone (which I just read this morning), He describes a few of those blessings: 1) With humility comes wisdom (11:2), 2) A kindhearted woman gains respect (v. 16), 3) He/she who sows righteousness reaps a sure reward (v. 18), 4) the desire of the righteous ends only in good (v. 23), 5) He/she who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (v. 25), and 6) He/she who seeks good finds goodwill (v. 27). May you THRIVE like a green leaf (v. 28), as you recuperate from surgery, and continue to serve our Jesus!

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  2. Nancy,
    Thank YOU for your sweet encouragement!! I will envision myself "thriving like a green leaf" even though I feel like I'm growing mold like a fuzzy-brained couch potato lol. I am going to cling to these verses you shared because it is easy to feel like you are no earthly good to anyone just lying around occupying space. Thank you, Nancy, for just being the kind person that you are. You are a ray of sunshine to me today :)
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

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    1. You're welcome, Bev. Please know you are more earthly good than you realize, even if you are confined to the couch for now. This post is proof! :-) I pray you're seeing progress in the healing process, that today is a little bit better than yesterday.

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  3. I love this viewpoint. God gives us these commands so that we don't hurt. They are so often viewed as guidelines to make Him happy, but how loving and gracious is our guide to guide us for our sake! Thank you for sharing this :)

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    1. Nicole,
      I think you captured what a lot of us think or thought - that God makes those guidelines to make Him happy. Actually, He doesn't need us for anything so I believe what He does is out of His utmost love for us. He makes these rules for our sake and our abundance. So glad you stopped by and commented!!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  4. This is incredibly touching, Bev. I know so many times I've done the wrong things, yet I still have a blessed life.
    Here's more prayers and healing for your recovery!
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    1. Jodie,
      We all do things that are wrong, but God gives us a right path to follow so that our joy will be complete and He readily forgives when we mess up. Thank you for the well wishes for my recovery...one day at a time.
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  5. So much truth here Bev. My neighbor needs to hear this. She is always paying consequences for her divorce.
    Praying for your recovery!
    Bless~

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    1. Christy,
      So true that even though God forgives and can bring beauty from ashes, there are still going to be natural consequences from our actions. Thanks for your prayers!!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  6. Wow! Even fuzzy-brained you have challenged us with some deep thoughts today. I also am divorced and still single but the ripple effect has been far reaching. There is guilt that is hard to shake and yet God loves me so dearly. He is such a caring Father that he doesn't want to see us hurting. I believe that too.

    I will pray for you as you recover from surgery, for your daughter as she continues to walk the road of understanding divorce and fro all those who suffer in different ways. May we see and know the Father's great love for us.

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    1. Mary,
      Yes, indeed, the ripples travel far, but God, thankfully is in the business of redeeming and making all things new. He is such a caring and loving Father and doesn't want to see us hurting. Thank you so much for the prayers for my relationship with my daughter and for healing from this surgery!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  7. Bev, this is such a thought-provoking post! I loved what you said: "God says what He says and hates what he hates because HE LOVES US SO MUCH. Beyond words. He loves us higher, deeper, wider, farther than we could ever imagine. "

    This is such a freeing, mind-shifting truth. And to think of the depth of His mercy for us out of His love for us. I need to pray and ask God if there are areas where I'm choosing to believe He doesn't love me. Thank you for leaving me thinking!

    P.S. I hope your recovery is going well after surgery!

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    1. Jeanne,
      Thank you for your prayers for my recovery...and I pray for you that He would enter in those doubt filled areas and give you the peace and reassurance of His great love for you!!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  8. I love the line in the 23rd Psalm, "His rod and staff comfort me". The Rod is the discipline of the Lord, and He does give us His commandments to protect us. He is all knowing, and sometimes I think I know more. Loved this post! I am so thankful to hear you are on the mend.

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    1. Barbie,
      So well put....His rod of discipline and guidance comforts us and guides us - all for our own good!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  9. I hope you'll continue to feel better after your surgery, Bev. Yes, it is so true that God's commands are for our GOOD! We forget that...

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    1. Betsy,
      Thank you for your well wishes...how we forget that EVERYTHING He does is for our good and His glory.
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  10. So amazed that you are writing again so soon after surgery!
    Thanks for throwing a spotlight on the truth that all God's words come from a place of wisdom -- certainly they are not random or designed to spoil our fun. Thanks be to God for wisdom and maturity to see that He has our best in view.

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    1. Michele,
      I confess I wrote this before my surgery as my brain was all fuzz afterward. You said it - God's words are filled with wisdom and certainly aren't random! So thankful we have a God who cares so much for us!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  11. I'm glad that you're getting back at things quickly, Bev. I think that's helpful to getting those fuzzy-brained thoughts back in line--much like the Ten Commandments can do for our lives! ;) I'm so sorry that you're still facing the fall-out from your divorce. I'm sure there is a lot of grieving going on for your daughter, even though you, as her mother, made the best choices possible given the circumstances. And yes, I think God hates divorce because of what it does to us and our loved ones and not for His own sake. I'm praying that your daughter recognizes like you did with your dad, how very hard you tried and sees things through the gracious lens that you now see things. I'm also praying for your recovery! Thanks for pushing through to give us this wise word today!

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    1. Beth,
      I think we all need to view others through the gracious lens through which God sees us...wouldn't we all have a lot less conflict and struggle?
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  12. I so agree with you. God gives us his commands out of love because he doesn't want to see us hurt, or see us hurt others. I guess it is a matter of perspective. Seeing the commands and rules as loving rules and not joy breakers. Because when it comes down to it, we are so much happier when we do what he says. And so are those around us. Thanks for your thoughts. Quick healing from your surgery, Bev.

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    1. Theresa,
      I couldn't have summed it up better than you have here....thank you too for your well wishes...
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  13. I love how you made these points with practical examples, Bev. It just amazes me how God tries to protect us from ourselves by outlining his commands so clearly. His grace is more than sufficient!
    Praying for your healing, right now and wishing you blessings.

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    1. Marva,
      Protect us from ourselves...Amen! His grace is sufficient. We can "color inside the lines" in His strength and for our own good.
      Blessings
      Bev xx

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  14. Exactly! His protections are born out of love. His understanding being greater than ours, you'd think we'd listen, but sometimes we learn the hard lessons He wants so much to save us from. Good insight, Bev. :) So lovely to visit with you yesterday. This surgery is going to be the one that puts it all back aright--I can feel it. :) May you recover well (and quickly!) friend. ((xoxo))

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    1. Brenda,
      Yes, you'd think we'd listen knowing His wisdom and understanding is so much greater than ours. It was so wonderful to visit with you and I am so touched by the love you poured out on me!!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  15. I hope that today finds you healing well, feeling stronger, finding God faithful and comforting and very much present.

    Weekend blessings to you, Bev ...

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    1. Linda,
      Thanks for your prayers and well wishes. Each day I am feeling a little bit stronger and God has been very present to comfort me and to bring hope through others like you.
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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