Thursday, November 21, 2019

A Personal Story of Gratitude Rediscovered

Hey Friend,

As we head into November, I would like to share a popular post from around this time last year.  We hadn't yet experienced a pandemic, but we probably took some things for granted that we'd love to have right about now.  I'm still working hard in book publishing bootcamp...hope you enjoy this post!

The last thing I could remember was the bright lights of the operating room almost blinding me, even though it was ten o'clock at night.  The room was sterile and cold. The two kind nurses were running through the drill of what was going to be happening.  It was a drill I'd heard many times before.  

The next thing I knew, as I tried to wake up and somehow shake off the fog I was in, was that two different nurses were looking at me, hovering, and talking.  My eyes followed my arm to my hand that was holding the warm hand of my husband standing at my side.  The lights were low and all was quiet around us.  

"It's 2:30 in the morning, Bev," my husband whispered to me.  I scrunched up my face in disbelief.

"Can I get you some water to drink?" the one nurse asked gently.  "Do you want some crackers with it?" Even though I hadn't eaten anything for over 20 hours, my throat was parched and scratchy.  All I wanted was water and to sleep.

When the aid came in my room the next morning, boy was I happy to see her.  "I've got your coffee and some eggs and hungry?" she chirped as she whipped off the metal cover keeping it warm, and smiled.

"You bet," I replied.  I held the coffee in my hands.  It felt warm to the touch, but I didn't smell the usual coffee aroma.  I sniffed it again...nothing.  One of my very favorite things is cradling a hot cup of coffee in my hands, early in the morning, and inhaling its distinct, somewhat nutty aroma.  

I couldn't smell the eggs.  I couldn't smell or taste the orange juice.  The nurse reassured me that losing your sense of taste and smell could be a side effect of the anesthesia and that it would probably wear off soon.  It didn't.

For three weeks, I gagged on what I ate and drank because it tasted like metal nothingness. I didn't even want my beloved coffee because it actually made me start to cry because I couldn't enjoy the whole "coffee experience."  It was gone and I didn't know if it was ever coming back.  

How could I have taken the simple gift of smelling and tasting for granted?

Each day I hobbled around smelling things with distinct and powerful odors, hoping and praying that my senses would wake up.  Perfume, garlic, flowers, vinegar...nothing. I began to lose weight because there was no joy in eating.  I ate only to sustain myself.

Days passed, and I still couldn't taste, or smell, anything.  Depression crept in like a gray fog and settled over me.  How could I have been so ungrateful for these simple pleasures?  I didn't like my new normal.  I wanted those gifts back.

Then, one morning heading into the fourth week, I clutched my coffee in my usual pretend routine and I made my husband jump when I shrieked with excitement, "I can smell it!!!  It's not real strong, but I can smell hints of coffee!!!"  You would have thought I'd won the lottery.  I sat there, wiggling my nose, like a bunny in a field of clover, inhaling between sips.  Tears ran down my cheeks.  There was hope. The blessing was being renewed.

Slowly but surely, over the next several days, my sense of taste and smell returned.  I scurried around smelling and tasting everything I could stick under my nose or put in my mouth.  It was enchanting getting reacquainted with the senses I'd desperately missed.  

I remember praying - O, Lord, you are so good to me.  Please don't ever let me take the gift of taste and smell for granted ever again.  Don't let me take any gift you give me for granted ever again.  

I wish I could say that I was forever grateful for everything from that moment on. But much like the Israelites who mercifully came through the parting of the Red Sea, it wasn't long before I was whining about something I didn't have or that wasn't going how I thought it should.

A writer friend of mine queried in one of her recent posts, "What if we lost everything we hadn't thanked God for?"

That stopped me in my tracks.  I thought of all the people, places, things, joys, experiences, miracles that I had failed to thank God for.  

In my exuberance I had run off skipping, like the healed lepers, and I had failed to go back and thank the Healer. 

Lord, let me make Gratitude a priority in my life because it honors You and in doing so, it ushers in joy.  In order to make Gratitude a priority:

1.  Let me thank you God, in advance, for what You are able and about to perform.

2.  Let me pause, in the moment of blessing, and praise Your holy name. Don't let me hurry to move on until I've fully taken in Your blessing.

3.  Let me go forward in confidence and courage because I have looked back, with gratitude, to all the times You've been faithful to me, Lord.

Let praise for You, O Lord, always be on my lips...Amen.

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.  (1Thessalonians 5:18)

What about you?  Are there any blessings in your life that you have taken for granted?  Would you lose a lot or a little if what you hadn't thanked God for suddenly disappeared?  How can you make gratitude a priority in your life?  Will you share?

Be blessed...

Want to do some early Christmas shopping?  The newly released devotional "Take Heart - 100 devotions to seeing God when life's not okay" (in which I am a contributing writer) makes an excellent Christmas gift for friends and family as they embark upon a new year.  Available on Amazon and most booksellers.


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