Hey Friend,
Majesty: I had to catch my breath as I gazed upon the majesty of God's creation. There is something about the ocean that makes me stop in my tracks and simply gaze upon its large expanse. It extends as far as the mind can imagine. Only an infinite God could create the infinite expanse of blue-green water my eyes take in. Without a second thought my heart and soul are drawn into worship. How awesome is our God.
O Lord, our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth...when I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers... (Psalm 8:1-9)
Constant: The waters don't ebb and flow just because I'm there. They've been constant in doing that since God spoke them into existence. The rhythm of the waves is like a perpetual heartbeat. The waves crash and release...my mind and heart are drawn into their beating. So it is with God.
Even when I'm going about my own business, He remains there - constant. His heart beats out love for me even when I'm sleeping. Every moment of every day He is there. The steadiness of the waves reminds me that God was, and is, and always will be.
He never sleeps. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. (Psalm 121:3-4)
Flow: As I try to walk into the ocean, the waves pound against me. With each step forward I sense that I am going against the natural flow of things. Determined, I keep stepping forward, losing my balance, being tossed from side to side. Beside me I catch a glimpse of seaweed just gently floating with the flow of things. It's not toiling and striving and forcing its own agenda; it's going with God's natural flow.
I'm struck by how often I plow forward, often with futility, trying to force my will instead of relaxing and going with the flow of God's will for my life. "Go with my flow," I hear God saying. His will for me is good. I need to relax into the flow of His good plans.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Washed: My fiancé and I walk hand in hand along the beach. I gaze at the footprints of the people who walked before us. Their footsteps dug into the sand are all but washed away. I look behind us and our disturbance of the sand has disappeared - leaving not a trace that we were even there.
So it is with the blood of Christ. Time and time again I sin...footprint after footprint. Yet in His mercy He washed my sins away and leaves me pure. No evidence of sin remains.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow. (Psalm 51:7)
Salt & Light: As I go to leave - unsure of when I'll see the ocean again, I breath in the salty air and squint my eyes in the light reflecting off the sand and surf. Like a benediction, I can almost hear God saying, "Go be salt and light in this dark world."
"You are the salt of the earth...you are the light of the world." (Matthew 5:13-14)
I tuck my lessons away in my heart and bid the ocean farewell. Knowing I've caught a glimpse of God and Heaven, my heart is light. Till I see you again...
Love,
Bev
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Away From My Desk
Hey Friend,
If God took a rest on the 7th day and Jesus withdrew from the crowds to rest and pray, then I too should follow their example. Rest is not only good for the soul, it is necessary!
For the next several days I will be taking a break from writing while resting and relaxing at the beach. I'm leaving my trusty (somewhat) laptop behind, but taking my writing notebook because nothing inspires me more than God's creation at its finest.
I've written 21 different posts. Surely you haven't read them all, so I invite you to thumb through the archives and find one that peaks your curiosity. I pray every morning and evening for those who read my blog. My prayers will not be taking a vacation. So know that you are being prayed for and loved by an awesome God!
So, Myrtle Beach or bust as they say...looking forward to being still for a few days. See you next week for a new post.
In quietness and trust is your strength. (Isaiah 30:15)
Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him. (Psalm 37:7)
Till then...
Love,
Bev
If God took a rest on the 7th day and Jesus withdrew from the crowds to rest and pray, then I too should follow their example. Rest is not only good for the soul, it is necessary!
For the next several days I will be taking a break from writing while resting and relaxing at the beach. I'm leaving my trusty (somewhat) laptop behind, but taking my writing notebook because nothing inspires me more than God's creation at its finest.
I've written 21 different posts. Surely you haven't read them all, so I invite you to thumb through the archives and find one that peaks your curiosity. I pray every morning and evening for those who read my blog. My prayers will not be taking a vacation. So know that you are being prayed for and loved by an awesome God!
So, Myrtle Beach or bust as they say...looking forward to being still for a few days. See you next week for a new post.
In quietness and trust is your strength. (Isaiah 30:15)
Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him. (Psalm 37:7)
Till then...
Love,
Bev
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Listening, Really Listening
Hey Friend,
And God said, "Let there be light"... (Genesis 1:3)
God spoke and in four simple words he brought forth light in the midst of primeval darkness; light that was necessary for everything He would speak into existence.
God did not go on ad nauseum about what the light would do. He didn't pontificate about His whole creative process and His reasoning behind it. He simply created and spoke everything into existence with just the right amount of words. In one chapter, in one book of the Bible, all of Heaven and Earth were created and spoken into existence.
What can I/we learn from this? That we need to measure our words. Just because there are thousands of words in the English language, does not mean that we have to use them all.
I had a teacher who once told me, "You have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately."
In other words, I need to listen more and speak less. Having gone through some very difficult times, the friends and family that helped me the most were the ones who listened - truly listened.
But, I'm a slow learner. Now, when I'm trying to help a friend going through a difficult time, I am the first person to get on myself for not being able to come up with something profound to say. My friend does not want profound, they just want me...silent, attentive, listening.
He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
Why is this so hard to grasp? Because we are, by nature, "fixers". And how better to fix than with advice? We fill the gap of silence with "oughts", "shoulds" and "musts". - words that drag down instead of lifting up. Grace...my few words need to be filled with grace and love.
He who loves a pure heart and whose speech in gracious will have the king for his friend. (Proverbs 22:11)
How often, when I am trying to listen, am I really preparing what I'm going to say next? Bev, get over yourself and bite the tongue in your brain and truly focus on listening and then, and only then, speak. But, do not speak in haste.
Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 29:20)
If this sounds like "Remedial Listening 101"...it is because I need it. The Proverbs are full of warnings to those, like me, who can tend to run at the mouth. Proverbs has a word for people who do that..."fools".
Okay, so I'm working on the whole listening thing, But what does God say about what I should say when I do say something?
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. (Proverbs 24:26)
Honest can be translated "truthful". Whose truth...God's truth as based on scripture. As much as I like my own words, only God's words offer life, healing and hope.
If you know someone facing difficult times will you pray this prayer with me?
Lord, help me first to really listen, to be gracious when I do speak, to not speak in haste and to speak only Your truth. Amen.
Love,
Bev
And God said, "Let there be light"... (Genesis 1:3)
God spoke and in four simple words he brought forth light in the midst of primeval darkness; light that was necessary for everything He would speak into existence.
God did not go on ad nauseum about what the light would do. He didn't pontificate about His whole creative process and His reasoning behind it. He simply created and spoke everything into existence with just the right amount of words. In one chapter, in one book of the Bible, all of Heaven and Earth were created and spoken into existence.
What can I/we learn from this? That we need to measure our words. Just because there are thousands of words in the English language, does not mean that we have to use them all.
I had a teacher who once told me, "You have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately."
In other words, I need to listen more and speak less. Having gone through some very difficult times, the friends and family that helped me the most were the ones who listened - truly listened.
But, I'm a slow learner. Now, when I'm trying to help a friend going through a difficult time, I am the first person to get on myself for not being able to come up with something profound to say. My friend does not want profound, they just want me...silent, attentive, listening.
He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
Why is this so hard to grasp? Because we are, by nature, "fixers". And how better to fix than with advice? We fill the gap of silence with "oughts", "shoulds" and "musts". - words that drag down instead of lifting up. Grace...my few words need to be filled with grace and love.
He who loves a pure heart and whose speech in gracious will have the king for his friend. (Proverbs 22:11)
How often, when I am trying to listen, am I really preparing what I'm going to say next? Bev, get over yourself and bite the tongue in your brain and truly focus on listening and then, and only then, speak. But, do not speak in haste.
Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 29:20)
If this sounds like "Remedial Listening 101"...it is because I need it. The Proverbs are full of warnings to those, like me, who can tend to run at the mouth. Proverbs has a word for people who do that..."fools".
Okay, so I'm working on the whole listening thing, But what does God say about what I should say when I do say something?
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. (Proverbs 24:26)
Honest can be translated "truthful". Whose truth...God's truth as based on scripture. As much as I like my own words, only God's words offer life, healing and hope.
If you know someone facing difficult times will you pray this prayer with me?
Lord, help me first to really listen, to be gracious when I do speak, to not speak in haste and to speak only Your truth. Amen.
Love,
Bev
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Joy Layered Over Pain
Hey Friend,
One of my favorite artists was Thomas Kinkade "The Painter of Light". Most of his paintings featured a scene, often a house, at dusk or dawn. The background would be hues of dark blues or purples and even black - the colors of night. And, then in the windows, with a slight stroke of golden white, he would make light appear; a warm, glowing, welcoming light. The scene would be serene, peaceful and would always bring a smile to my face.
Our lives are somewhat like those paintings. To say that my life has not been exactly easy these past several years would be an understatement. For a litany of the "plagues" you can read my post "Church Lady? I Think Not...". Suffice it to say that I have been through some very painful times...shades of night...dark blue, purple and even black. But, God in his wonderful mercy has dipped His paintbrush in golden white and layered the warm light of joy over my pain. Having had the darkness of pain, the light of joy shines out that much more brightly.
I believe that to experience true joy, you first have to experience pain.
It's like touching velvet after you have felt the cold touch of steel. The experience is that much richer. So many times I have wondered why terrible things happen. We live in a fallen, sinful world. I don't know about you, but I have been tempted at times to throw in the towel, but God says "Wait". Hold on and I will bring you joy that is beyond your wildest imagination.
Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
I believe that when I hold on through the pain and get to experience the joy that comes, I get a tiny glimpse of Heaven. We may endure many trials in this life, but the Bible promises that the joy of running into our Father's arms in Heaven will far surpass all the pain we have felt in this lifetime. This is our temporary home; our real home lies in Heaven.
Ultimately Joy begins with a choice - the choice to establish a genuine relationship with God and His Son. Joy does not depend on your circumstances, but on your relationship with God.
If I have nothing else in life, but Christ, I can be joyful. It may not be a laugh out loud kind of joy, but I know that He ultimately holds the paintbrush. In that I can have joy. But oh, when he brushes on that golden white hue...the joy makes my heart want to burst.
I have had one of those experiences lately. I am beyond happy to announce that the most wonderful man in the world has asked me to marry him. I simply cannot express my joy in words. That's how happy I am. I am humbled that God chose me to be the recipient of this man's love. I am made even so much more joyful because the light has been layered upon a backdrop of darkness. God has chosen to layer joy over pain in my life and I am forever grateful!!
From the fullness of His grace, we have received one blessing after another. (John 1:16)
Thank you for letting me ramble on this morning...and for sharing in my joy. God is weaving a beautiful tapestry with our lives and in it are shades of dark and shades of light, but in the end it makes a beautiful and complete work of art. If you are in the dark hues right now, I encourage you to hold on because God is not finished painting or weaving yet. Know that you are loved beyond comprehension! God will not forsake you...he has never forsaken me. Be encouraged friend!
Love,
Bev
One of my favorite artists was Thomas Kinkade "The Painter of Light". Most of his paintings featured a scene, often a house, at dusk or dawn. The background would be hues of dark blues or purples and even black - the colors of night. And, then in the windows, with a slight stroke of golden white, he would make light appear; a warm, glowing, welcoming light. The scene would be serene, peaceful and would always bring a smile to my face.
Our lives are somewhat like those paintings. To say that my life has not been exactly easy these past several years would be an understatement. For a litany of the "plagues" you can read my post "Church Lady? I Think Not...". Suffice it to say that I have been through some very painful times...shades of night...dark blue, purple and even black. But, God in his wonderful mercy has dipped His paintbrush in golden white and layered the warm light of joy over my pain. Having had the darkness of pain, the light of joy shines out that much more brightly.
I believe that to experience true joy, you first have to experience pain.
It's like touching velvet after you have felt the cold touch of steel. The experience is that much richer. So many times I have wondered why terrible things happen. We live in a fallen, sinful world. I don't know about you, but I have been tempted at times to throw in the towel, but God says "Wait". Hold on and I will bring you joy that is beyond your wildest imagination.
Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
I believe that when I hold on through the pain and get to experience the joy that comes, I get a tiny glimpse of Heaven. We may endure many trials in this life, but the Bible promises that the joy of running into our Father's arms in Heaven will far surpass all the pain we have felt in this lifetime. This is our temporary home; our real home lies in Heaven.
Ultimately Joy begins with a choice - the choice to establish a genuine relationship with God and His Son. Joy does not depend on your circumstances, but on your relationship with God.
If I have nothing else in life, but Christ, I can be joyful. It may not be a laugh out loud kind of joy, but I know that He ultimately holds the paintbrush. In that I can have joy. But oh, when he brushes on that golden white hue...the joy makes my heart want to burst.
I have had one of those experiences lately. I am beyond happy to announce that the most wonderful man in the world has asked me to marry him. I simply cannot express my joy in words. That's how happy I am. I am humbled that God chose me to be the recipient of this man's love. I am made even so much more joyful because the light has been layered upon a backdrop of darkness. God has chosen to layer joy over pain in my life and I am forever grateful!!
From the fullness of His grace, we have received one blessing after another. (John 1:16)
Thank you for letting me ramble on this morning...and for sharing in my joy. God is weaving a beautiful tapestry with our lives and in it are shades of dark and shades of light, but in the end it makes a beautiful and complete work of art. If you are in the dark hues right now, I encourage you to hold on because God is not finished painting or weaving yet. Know that you are loved beyond comprehension! God will not forsake you...he has never forsaken me. Be encouraged friend!
Love,
Bev
Thursday, May 30, 2013
What's My Agenda?
Hey Friend,
I admit, I would be lost without my Daytimer calendar (I'm a low-tech person).
Maybe for you it's your Blackberry or your iphone. Whatever the method, we keep our precious agenda where it can easily be accessed. Schedules, appointments, to-do lists...we live by them. At least I do. Sometimes I just groan when I look at what all is penciled in on a given day. Does that ever happen to you? If someone asks me, "How was your day?" I am likely to respond with a litany of what I got accomplished that day.
I think God had a different idea in mind when he created us. I don't believe He created us to be human "doings". I believe He created us to be human "beings". God created us to be in relationship with Him...period. He created us in His image so that we might relate to him. We have a brain, a soul and a spirit for a very special reason. Only problem is, we don't use them very often for the right reasons.
So often, I am about the wrong things. Don't get me wrong, things in life need to be taken care of, but what are we REALLY supposed to be about? In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus tells about coming to the home of Martha and Mary. While Martha spins around in Martha Stewart fashion, busying herself with all the preparations, Mary sits at Jesus' feet and just listens to Him and spends time with Him. Martha labors while Mary listens. Hmmm...who would I be in this story? Martha chides her sister for sitting idle while she does all the work. But what does Jesus say?
"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it is not to be taken from her." (Luke 10: 41-42)
Busted. I'm busted. Too many times I put the agenda before the author. I am reminded time and time again in the Bible that I am to put things aside and seek God first. Not when I get around to it, but first.
Seek first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
Again, it's the relationship, not the agenda that Jesus is highlighting. The Bible even goes so far as to say "Pray without ceasing." (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I don't believe we can pray constantly, but we can have an attititude of God-consciousness or God-surrender all the time. God simply wants to hang with us as my kids would say.
He loves us so much and created us for a love relationship with Him.
That was God's agenda...so what is mine? I'll end this post with a beautiful piece of prose (once again I didn't capture the author), but it really spoke to my heart and I hope it will speak to yours as to what we are to be all about:
I admit, I would be lost without my Daytimer calendar (I'm a low-tech person).
Maybe for you it's your Blackberry or your iphone. Whatever the method, we keep our precious agenda where it can easily be accessed. Schedules, appointments, to-do lists...we live by them. At least I do. Sometimes I just groan when I look at what all is penciled in on a given day. Does that ever happen to you? If someone asks me, "How was your day?" I am likely to respond with a litany of what I got accomplished that day.
I think God had a different idea in mind when he created us. I don't believe He created us to be human "doings". I believe He created us to be human "beings". God created us to be in relationship with Him...period. He created us in His image so that we might relate to him. We have a brain, a soul and a spirit for a very special reason. Only problem is, we don't use them very often for the right reasons.
So often, I am about the wrong things. Don't get me wrong, things in life need to be taken care of, but what are we REALLY supposed to be about? In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus tells about coming to the home of Martha and Mary. While Martha spins around in Martha Stewart fashion, busying herself with all the preparations, Mary sits at Jesus' feet and just listens to Him and spends time with Him. Martha labors while Mary listens. Hmmm...who would I be in this story? Martha chides her sister for sitting idle while she does all the work. But what does Jesus say?
"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it is not to be taken from her." (Luke 10: 41-42)
Busted. I'm busted. Too many times I put the agenda before the author. I am reminded time and time again in the Bible that I am to put things aside and seek God first. Not when I get around to it, but first.
Seek first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
Again, it's the relationship, not the agenda that Jesus is highlighting. The Bible even goes so far as to say "Pray without ceasing." (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I don't believe we can pray constantly, but we can have an attititude of God-consciousness or God-surrender all the time. God simply wants to hang with us as my kids would say.
He loves us so much and created us for a love relationship with Him.
That was God's agenda...so what is mine? I'll end this post with a beautiful piece of prose (once again I didn't capture the author), but it really spoke to my heart and I hope it will speak to yours as to what we are to be all about:
I was made to praise You
I was made to glorify Your name
In every circumstance
To find a chance to thank You
I was made to love You
I was made to worship at Your feet
And to obey You Lord
I was made for You
I was made for the Lord...for His delight and good pleasure. To spend time with Him and just abide in His presence. Let me go right now and put that in ink in my Daytimer!
Will you join me?
Love,
Bev
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Memorial Day Reflection
Hey Friend,
Last week I wrote about my dad. He is interred at the Florida National Cemetary which honors the military service of our Nation's veterans. My mom and I have walked among only a few of the thousands of granite headstones that mark the graves of these great men and women. Some of the headstones date back to the World Wars and are weathered by the elements. The sections are not separated by military rank. Headstones labeled, "Matthews, Gonzalez, Lebowitz, McNamara and Hersheimer" are lined up next to each other. A band of brothers that not only served together, but some laid down their lives for their country.
For you were called to freedom, brethren, only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)
Most died for selfless reasons; for a cause greater than themselves. They did not just serve one another. They served you and me.
Greater love has no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 5:13)
They didn't lay down their lives for just their friends; they did it for strangers. They did it for people not even born yet. Even if they didn't give their life, they were ready and willing to do so if duty called. Some laid down limbs or their freedom to walk (our beloved paralyzed vets) so that we might walk freely in this great country of ours.
Since the Revolutionary War, soldiers fought for our freedom - in particular our freedom of religion.
And I will walk at liberty, for I seek Thy precepts. (Psalm 119:45)
I truly appreciate that I am at liberty to worship freely...to carry my Bible openly in public and pray before a meal at a restaurant. By studying God's word and learning the "truth", the truth has truly set me free.
"and you shall know the truth, and the truth will make you free." (John 8:32)
These great veterans made that possible for me and I am forever indebted. There is one soldier I have to remember and worship on Memorial Day, and that is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He has and does go to battle for me every day against the forces of evil. He has defeated death and set me free by His sacrifice on the cross. He has set me free from being a slave to sin and death.
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)
My prayer this Memorial Day (and every day) is that we would pause from our barbeques and honor these veterans both living and dead who gave so selflessly for our freedom. May we show them the honor and respect due them.
To the soldiers and my Savior I say "thank you" from the bottom of my heart. Have a blessed Memorial Day.
Love,
Bev
Last week I wrote about my dad. He is interred at the Florida National Cemetary which honors the military service of our Nation's veterans. My mom and I have walked among only a few of the thousands of granite headstones that mark the graves of these great men and women. Some of the headstones date back to the World Wars and are weathered by the elements. The sections are not separated by military rank. Headstones labeled, "Matthews, Gonzalez, Lebowitz, McNamara and Hersheimer" are lined up next to each other. A band of brothers that not only served together, but some laid down their lives for their country.
For you were called to freedom, brethren, only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)
Most died for selfless reasons; for a cause greater than themselves. They did not just serve one another. They served you and me.
Greater love has no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 5:13)
They didn't lay down their lives for just their friends; they did it for strangers. They did it for people not even born yet. Even if they didn't give their life, they were ready and willing to do so if duty called. Some laid down limbs or their freedom to walk (our beloved paralyzed vets) so that we might walk freely in this great country of ours.
Since the Revolutionary War, soldiers fought for our freedom - in particular our freedom of religion.
And I will walk at liberty, for I seek Thy precepts. (Psalm 119:45)
I truly appreciate that I am at liberty to worship freely...to carry my Bible openly in public and pray before a meal at a restaurant. By studying God's word and learning the "truth", the truth has truly set me free.
"and you shall know the truth, and the truth will make you free." (John 8:32)
These great veterans made that possible for me and I am forever indebted. There is one soldier I have to remember and worship on Memorial Day, and that is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He has and does go to battle for me every day against the forces of evil. He has defeated death and set me free by His sacrifice on the cross. He has set me free from being a slave to sin and death.
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)
My prayer this Memorial Day (and every day) is that we would pause from our barbeques and honor these veterans both living and dead who gave so selflessly for our freedom. May we show them the honor and respect due them.
To the soldiers and my Savior I say "thank you" from the bottom of my heart. Have a blessed Memorial Day.
Love,
Bev
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Learning a Different Language
Hey Friend,
Two years ago my dad went to be with his Heavenly Father. I look around my home and I see evidence of my dad everywhere - the beautiful cradle he made for my babies, the swingset he built like Fort Knox, the drapes hung, the pictures, mirror and chandelier all hung with engineer precision. That was my dad. He used his hands and his ability to do things to show his love and I miss him dearly.
One might think, since I was an only child, that I was "Daddy's little girl". Well, not exactly. At least that's not how I felt. I'm not quite sure where I came from...both of my parents were pretty stoic emotionally. My dad was a man of few words and the words that did come out were often gruff or terse. And here I was this overly emotional, rather sensitive little girl with more words than I knew what to do with. If I didn't look like my parents I would swear I was the milkman's baby.
My mom told me that she loved me...but oh how I longed for my dad to tell me that he loved me which he never did. I also wished that he would just give me big bear hugs - the ones that say, " I love you to pieces"...but those never came either. Since I didn't have siblings to see that this is just how my dad treated everyone, I internalized and believed that I was not lovable just as I was. Nothing could be further from the truth, but that's just how I felt.
So, I kicked it into performance mode. I tried to be the perfect child (even though there is no such thing). I got good grades and when that seemed to elicit some positive response, I kicked it up even further going for straight A's.
In my younger years I performed to the point of exhaustion sometimes. All in an attempt to hear those three little words...I LOVE YOU.
I wanted my dad to tell me that he loved me in "my language" which was words. It's been many years since I read Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages. The book points out that we each have our own preferential love language that speaks to our hearts. For some, like me, it is "words". For others it's "spend time with". For some, nothing says I love you like "touch" or giving them "gifts". And the last one is "do things for". I think I have that right?? Do you see where I'm going? I spoke French while my father spoke German.
I needed a roof over my head and clothes to wear and food to eat. Who did that for me - my dad. When my bike broke or my rollerskates needed repairing, who did that - my dad. When I needed to be picked up after cheering for a game, who was always there to pick me up - my dad. When I worked and got off really late, who was always there on time to make sure I got home safely - my dad. When money needed to be earned and saved for my college education, who did that - my dad. My dad's love language was to "do things for" others.
It's taken me many years and actually some therapy to understand all this. As adults we can understand these things, but as children we process things differently and can only understand with limited knowledge.
So why am I writing all this...yes, it's been cathartic, but I know many people who grew up not feeling like they were loved just for being themselves. I encourage you to look closely to the love language that was being spoken. If in your marriage you just don't feel loved, perhaps your spouse speaks a different language. The key is...we can't always expect others to speak to us in our language. Nor can we only speak to others in our language. We are called by Christ to learn others (our parents, our spouse, our children, our friends) love languages and to speak to them in their language. We are also called to learn to accept love spoken to us in a language that is not our own. It's called Learning a Different Language.
This is difficult to do a lot of the time, but it is essential if we are going to give and receive love between two very different people. The first commandment is to love God above anyone else. The second commandment is to love others as you love yourself. This second command may involve stretching ourselves beyond our natural limits. We can call on God for help with this one. Christ spoke to everyone he met in their language. We can do the same if we will ask and let Christ speak through us. Our relationships depend on us being selfless in learning another's love language. One fact is for certain, God loves you beyond measure. We cannot comprehend the height or depth of God's love for us. The Bible tells us so.
My dad never read Mr. Chapman's book. He was of a different generation and I appreciate that now. It is up to me to look back and see how he was speaking love to me. As I look in the rearview mirror, I now see that my dad loved me very much. He just didn't love me with words. He didn't speak my language.
I am so thankful,though, that my Heavenly Father speaks to me in several languages. He speaks to me in languages from others. He has even taught me to speak different languages. Nothing is impossible with God!
If you love someone, enjoy the challenge of learning a different language.
Love,
Bev
ps. Physical, verbal or emotional abuse is NOT a love language and should not be tolerated under any circumstance. Abuse, verbal or otherwise is not of God.
Please seek professional help if you are in this environment. You are WORTHY of being loved and that is God's will for your life.
Two years ago my dad went to be with his Heavenly Father. I look around my home and I see evidence of my dad everywhere - the beautiful cradle he made for my babies, the swingset he built like Fort Knox, the drapes hung, the pictures, mirror and chandelier all hung with engineer precision. That was my dad. He used his hands and his ability to do things to show his love and I miss him dearly.
One might think, since I was an only child, that I was "Daddy's little girl". Well, not exactly. At least that's not how I felt. I'm not quite sure where I came from...both of my parents were pretty stoic emotionally. My dad was a man of few words and the words that did come out were often gruff or terse. And here I was this overly emotional, rather sensitive little girl with more words than I knew what to do with. If I didn't look like my parents I would swear I was the milkman's baby.
My mom told me that she loved me...but oh how I longed for my dad to tell me that he loved me which he never did. I also wished that he would just give me big bear hugs - the ones that say, " I love you to pieces"...but those never came either. Since I didn't have siblings to see that this is just how my dad treated everyone, I internalized and believed that I was not lovable just as I was. Nothing could be further from the truth, but that's just how I felt.
So, I kicked it into performance mode. I tried to be the perfect child (even though there is no such thing). I got good grades and when that seemed to elicit some positive response, I kicked it up even further going for straight A's.
In my younger years I performed to the point of exhaustion sometimes. All in an attempt to hear those three little words...I LOVE YOU.
I wanted my dad to tell me that he loved me in "my language" which was words. It's been many years since I read Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages. The book points out that we each have our own preferential love language that speaks to our hearts. For some, like me, it is "words". For others it's "spend time with". For some, nothing says I love you like "touch" or giving them "gifts". And the last one is "do things for". I think I have that right?? Do you see where I'm going? I spoke French while my father spoke German.
I needed a roof over my head and clothes to wear and food to eat. Who did that for me - my dad. When my bike broke or my rollerskates needed repairing, who did that - my dad. When I needed to be picked up after cheering for a game, who was always there to pick me up - my dad. When I worked and got off really late, who was always there on time to make sure I got home safely - my dad. When money needed to be earned and saved for my college education, who did that - my dad. My dad's love language was to "do things for" others.
It's taken me many years and actually some therapy to understand all this. As adults we can understand these things, but as children we process things differently and can only understand with limited knowledge.
So why am I writing all this...yes, it's been cathartic, but I know many people who grew up not feeling like they were loved just for being themselves. I encourage you to look closely to the love language that was being spoken. If in your marriage you just don't feel loved, perhaps your spouse speaks a different language. The key is...we can't always expect others to speak to us in our language. Nor can we only speak to others in our language. We are called by Christ to learn others (our parents, our spouse, our children, our friends) love languages and to speak to them in their language. We are also called to learn to accept love spoken to us in a language that is not our own. It's called Learning a Different Language.
This is difficult to do a lot of the time, but it is essential if we are going to give and receive love between two very different people. The first commandment is to love God above anyone else. The second commandment is to love others as you love yourself. This second command may involve stretching ourselves beyond our natural limits. We can call on God for help with this one. Christ spoke to everyone he met in their language. We can do the same if we will ask and let Christ speak through us. Our relationships depend on us being selfless in learning another's love language. One fact is for certain, God loves you beyond measure. We cannot comprehend the height or depth of God's love for us. The Bible tells us so.
My dad never read Mr. Chapman's book. He was of a different generation and I appreciate that now. It is up to me to look back and see how he was speaking love to me. As I look in the rearview mirror, I now see that my dad loved me very much. He just didn't love me with words. He didn't speak my language.
I am so thankful,though, that my Heavenly Father speaks to me in several languages. He speaks to me in languages from others. He has even taught me to speak different languages. Nothing is impossible with God!
If you love someone, enjoy the challenge of learning a different language.
Love,
Bev
ps. Physical, verbal or emotional abuse is NOT a love language and should not be tolerated under any circumstance. Abuse, verbal or otherwise is not of God.
Please seek professional help if you are in this environment. You are WORTHY of being loved and that is God's will for your life.
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