Tuesday, September 20, 2016

What True Friendship Is All About

Hey Friend,

I apologize for not being more regular with my writing.  My work with Redeemer Christian Foundation, Inc. keeps me pretty busy full time.  I truly do miss my time writing and communing with you, my readers, and also reading the musings of my writing friends.  

Perhaps the first rule of friendship is bearing with, and forgiving others when they don't measure up to our expectations or their own expectations??

That being said...let me delve into this subject...

I remember, vividly, heading down the highway from Pennsylvania to North Carolina in our white mini-van.  The moving van had already started out ahead of us.  Our children, ages 9 and 4, were watching (or more exactly) arguing over what movie to watch.  It was a beautifully sunny, crisp, fall day in early September.  




I remembered this stretch of highway from our whirlwind house hunting trip.  As we neared Raleigh the highway was lined with nothing but beautiful pine trees. Anyone else would have thought, my this is gorgeous, but this city gal wondered where are the people?  Is there civilization behind the forest of trees or will we be living a Daniel Boone lifestyle??

"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared."  (Exodus 23:20)

Soon, I was up to my eyeballs in moving boxes.  I had successfully ushered my, thankfully, independent daughter off to her new fourth grade class in a new school.  I remember thinking...what do I do now?  Crying came to mind.  Cary, the name of our new hometown, stood for Containment Area for Relocated Yankees.  Where were the Yankees among all the Y'alls??

I realized it was just me and my 4 hear old son who was attached to my leg with velcro.  But soon, Tyler, who would become my son's best friend was at my door. He stood there in his little bowl cut hair and asked if my son could play.  I waved to his mom across the street and welcomed him in.  Even my four year old had a friend...but what about me?   Did I trust God's promise to prepare a place for Me?

I met Claire at a neighborhood coffee.  Since it was a new development, we were all pretty new to the neighborhood.  Before eating, she bowed her head quickly and silently in prayer.  I saw immediately that she was a kindred spirit. We got to talking and discovered that our daughters were in the same grade at the nearby elementary school - perfect!  They too, became fast friends and founders of the "Rodent Club" and lovers of all things Back Street Boys.  

That day, God began a friendship, with my neighbor across the street, that continues twenty years later.  Oh what a place God prepared for me and I am forever grateful.

God taught me many things about friendship through Claire and other friends I would make over these past 20 years....will you let me share a few??

*  God knows we need friendship because the enemy seeks to isolate 
    and destroy us.

*  God created us to need friends for fellowship and survival.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

*  "Having" friends involves first, and foremost, "Being" a good friend.
    Just as we are to be equally yoked in marriage, so are we to be 
    equally yoked in friendship.  One friend should not continually pull 
    the other down or lift the other up.  It's a balance.

The Bible teaches many things about friendship.  I am so fortunate to have friends who embody and remind me of these principles every day.  I am so grateful for Claire who reflected God's love to me in our friendship...after all isn't that what we are to be all about?  Here are some scriptures that further define friendship...

1.  Proverbs 12: 26 - Choose friends carefully as bad company corrupts good character.

2.  Job 16:20-21 - Friends plead for one another in prayer.  My friend is one of the best "prayer warriors" in intercessory prayer.

3.  Proverbs 27:27 - "Iron sharpens iron"...We need someone to hold us accountable.

4.  Proverbs 13:20 - Walk with the wise.  Be with friends who are IN the Word.  Word = Wisdom.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues PUT ON LOVE, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  (Colossians 3: 12-14)

5.  Proverbs 27:25-26 - A good friend is not afraid to rebuke you or call you to the mat regarding your behavior or attitude.

6.  Proverbs 19:20 - Listen to and accept advice and discipline from a friend.  A good friend tells me, in love, what I need to hear.

7.  Proverbs 18:24 - A good friend sticks closer than a brother.  Both of our families lived far away and we were each others "emergency contact".  

8.  2 Kings 2:2 - A good friend will never leave you.  We saw the good, the bad, and the ugly in each other, yet stayed close.

9.  Job 2:11 - A friend sympathizes and comforts.  We both had prodigal children and there was no judgment offered.  

10.Proverbs 17:17 - "A friend loves at all times and is born for a time of adversity."  When my OCD episodes flared, my friend jumped in to help me fold laundry, helped me clean, and made meals for my family.

My command is this:  Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have mad known to you.  (John 15: 12-15)

You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?  Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.  (James 4:4)

11.We are friends with Jesus if we do what He commands.  Jesus calls us friends and He makes known to us what God has made known to Him.

12.You can't be a friend of the world and a friend of God at the same time.

I am so very thankful for Claire, and for all of my friends who model to me the scriptural definition of a friend.  I am thankful for friends whom I get to see in person, friends online, friends that are there though distance divides us, blogging friends, and friendships that are yet to be and friendships that were there for just a season.  

God knows I need them all and I pray that I can return the gift of friendship that has been so graciously extended to me.  So thankful that God continues to bring me to those places that He has so lovingly prepared.  

I'm also thankful for the desert places in my life in which God said, "It's just you and me, kid."  Often it is in the painful crucible of trials in which we truly develop our friendship with God.  Oh what a friend I have in Jesus!!!  Praise!

How about you?  What are your friendships teaching you about the character of God?  How can you be a better friend to others?  Have friends abandoned you? Is Jesus calling you to run to His waiting arms?  How do we "do" friendship with other fallen people?  

Dear Heavenly Father, I am so thankful that you gave me, not only your Son who died for my sins, but the very best friend I could ever have - Jesus.  I thank you that even though even the best of friends will let us down...You never let us down.  You are true to your promise to never leave nor forsake me.  Help me to be the type of friend I would like to have to others.  Build up in me compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Help me to bear with others and forgive them.  Let me be a true friend in Your power.  Forgive me when my humanness breaks through.  Humble my pride to ask a friend for forgiveness when needed.  I ask all this in the wonderful name of Jesus. Amen.

Be blessed...this post dedicated to my friend, Claire, with whom I visited this week.  




ps.  Thank you, thank you to all who have been supporting Redeemer Christian Foundation, Inc.

Thank you to the anonymous donors who have sent Money Orders or who have named us in a Directed Giving fund, yet choose to remain anonymous.  May God bless you.






31 comments:

  1. You caught my attention when began reading about friendship. Community makes me stronger and without it I feel a void in my life. God is always there to fill in the gaps but real life friendships build a foundation we need as we move through life. I also find my online friendships are just as important. The encouragement, understanding and willingness to be a friend across the miles is indeed a blessing from God. Thank you for sharing your words and the verses today highlighting friendship. Hope you had a good week with your mom. Love you!

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    1. Mary,
      I love the sense of community I find among my writing friends like you. I believe God gives us like minded sisters to walk with us as we do this journey called LIFE! Thank you for being there for me. I count you among my blessings!!
      ((Hugs)) and prayers,
      Bev

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    2. I love the new look of your site! Beautiful! You have been working hard in the background.

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  2. Welcome back, Bev! I love how you're living your life in this season, yet still come back to share just a bit of what's happening.

    Thank you for talking about friendships today ... I find myself in the season of appreciating my friends from decades back, while tentatively forming new relationships in this new location, and really enjoying the online friends that I do community with.

    Without healthy relationships, we are sunk.

    I can't ... and won't choose between them. I feel so blessed.

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    1. Linda,
      Thanks for the warm welcome back. My visit with a friend who has moved away, prompted this post on friendship. I think as we get older, we do tend to appreciate more our friends both old and new. My online friendships keep me coming back to my writing. I just wish I had more time to peruse the writings of others...so true that without healthy relationships, we are sunk. Don't know where I'd be without friends. Joining with you in feeling blessed!
      Blessings to YOU friend,
      Bev xx

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  3. Awe, beautiful testimony, Bev. Everyone should have a "Claire" in their lives. ((xoxo))

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    1. Brenda,
      I AM so thankful that I have a "Claire" in my life...also very thankful for a "Brenda"!! Thank you for your continual encouragement...we need to reschedule our brunch date!
      Blessings sweet friend,
      Bev xoxo

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  4. Bev, I loved this post. I've had times with friendships as well as alone times. Those alone times . . . those times where it's just been God and me? Those were the seasons when I had to draw close to Him, where I learned more about what my true identity is. And the times with friendships? Those have offered me a sense of belonging I didn't experience much in my growing up years. They have been gifts. And they've been the physical reminder that God loves me always, no matter what. He accepts and embraces me. He loves me in the most amazing of ways. :)

    Your post was a sweet reminder of the beauty found in friendships. Thanks for that!

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    1. Jeanne,
      I always appreciate your insightful comments. So true that in our alone times with God our identity in just who we are in HIM is solidified. Amen to friends who remind us of how much God loves us. They give us glimpses of God's loving character. So glad this post resonated with you!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  5. What a beautiful post about true friendship! Thank you for reminding us how to be a good friend. What a blessings to have friends that are with you through the good time and the bad. Blessings to you! I'm your neighbor at #TellHisStory.

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    1. Gayl,
      I thought I knew what being a true friend was all about, but as usual, God continues to take me deeper into just what that looks like. So glad to have you as my neighbor. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  6. Bev, your words remind me to be thankful for all the wonderful people who regularly build into my life and encourage me in the faith.

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    1. Michele,
      I think you said it well - a friend is someone who encourages me in my faith...someone who holds me accountable as well as offering the warm fuzzies.
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  7. Bev, I love this post, and your closing prayer...God brought my dear friend and prayer partner, Linda, into my life through a Beth Moire Bible study in 1999...we have been meeting for lunch and prayer every week for 17 years! Many blessings to you ❤️

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    1. Beth,
      You always appreciate my prayers at the end...know they come from my heart. Having a prayer partner is a wonderful gift. We all need prayer warriors to lift us up before the Lord!! What a blessing!
      Blessings and love to you,
      Bev

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  8. Bev, this post really spoke to my heart. Friendship is tough for me. I've always been the one who tried to stay connected, loyal, and reach out and I've been burned a time or two by people I really cared about. That has unfortunately left me a bit mistrusting. God has given me time to heal, but He's also encouraged me lately to - like you said - be the friend I want. I've been stepping WAY out of my comfort zone and reaching out, hoping that others will reach back. I know that's not a guarantee, but I also know that I'm being obedient to what God has asked of me, and I'm quite hopeful that the result will be some sweet friendships. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and God's word on the subject which I will store up! Visiting from #tellhisstory today.

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    1. Tiffany,
      Being burned by people who called themselves friends really hurts. I'm sorry for those who didn't hold your friendship as a treasured gift. I think Scripture is right on when it tells us to be the kind of friend that we would want. I commend you for reaching out and trying again- even when it is difficult or scary. God will not return your efforts void. As long as you and God are "good" that is truly what matters. Sometimes we need that alone time with Him in order to be a better friend with others. Lifting you up in prayer as you journey along the road of friendship.
      Blessings and ((Hugs)),
      Bev

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  9. Over the years I've been blessed with many wonderful friends--caring, wise, good listeners, delightful to be around. A little over two years ago we moved 900+ miles to our new community, and I have not yet connected with a soul-sister or two. But neither have I felt lonely or desperate. We're near family and making acquaintances at our new church. Maybe old friends, though far away, will have to be my support system for awhile!

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    1. Nancy,
      Having a "soul sister" as you mentioned is a rare gift indeed. As I visited my friend who had moved far away, I too saw that far away friends are still a great support and very much still a friend. I will pray for you as you seek God's will in this area of your life. I believe when we have Christ we are never desperate...
      Blessings,
      Bev xo

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  10. I have a whole host of friends that have taken me years to cultivate, Bev, and I don't know where I'd be without them. I can recall being new to a community like you've described here, so I complete related to what you described. So glad that you found your way into the hearts of the residents of Cary. ;)

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    1. Beth,
      I've made several "big" moves in my life and I find it takes me, at least, a year until I begin to feel comfortable. I am so thankful that God has always gone ahead of me and prepared a place for me (including friendships). He is faithful to His promises.
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  11. This is so good! I appreciate your post.

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    1. Elizabeth,
      Thank you for popping over to my place. Glad you found some truth here that resonated with you...welcome!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  12. Thanks for all the encouraging scriptures and words about friendship. It's not something we can take for granted. The best friendships requirement investment and sacrifice, but the rewards are always more than what we put in! Blessings to you as you continue to work in your ministry opportunities.

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    1. Lisa,
      Thanks for taking the time to stop by. Yes, indeed, friendships require investment and sacrifice, but oh the rewards are great. Thank you for your well wishes in my work with RCF, Inc.
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  13. I'm so glad that Jesus calls me His friend. I don't deserve it, but in His hesed love He has covenanted to love me always, and I praise Him for it. I'm thankful for other friends as well. But He is the friend that never sleeps and never leaves me nor forsakes me.

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    1. Ruth,
      The very BEST person to have call us friend is Jesus and that's just what He does. Like you, I have learned that all people will fail us at one point or another, but Jesus is the One who never leaves nor forsakes. Big Praise for that truth!!

      Blessings,
      Bev

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  14. Bev, it was a blessing to stop by today and read this uplifting word about the value of friendship. The Bible verses are a wonderful reminder of what a true friendship looks like. May you continue to be blessed with friends like this! :)

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    1. Joy, So great to have you stop by...welcome!! The scriptures on what "true" friendship looks like were a great reminder for me as well!!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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  15. Good morning, Bev! I am at a season in life that my friends have been like family to me and I don't discount at all the precious ones GOD has placed in my life. Noticing too, that some friendships are for a season... I do feel GOD calling me into a closer friendship with HIM and HIS HOLY SPIRIT. Just prayed your prayer as my own. Bless you!

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    1. Lora,
      How true, that when you live away from family, your friends BECOME your family!! I don't know how I would have gotten through some seasons in my life without the great friends God put in my life. Oh that we would answer God's friendship call to us!! Joining with you in pursuing this!
      Blessings,
      Bev

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