Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Loneliness As A Gift?

Hey Friend,

Ironically, the time in my life when I have felt the most lonely is when I was married.  Living with someone who doesn't love you is probably the worst kind of lonely there is.  I've been completely alone and it is not as bad as living with someone you care about and not having those feelings reciprocated.

Perhaps this is the worst kind of loneliness because it reeks of rejection.  I don't know if there is any more harsh feeling than that of being rejected.  

When Jesus hung on the cross and felt the eyes of His Father turn away and all of His friends had scattered to the hills, what kind of loneliness must that have been...what rejection?

But, it was Christ's experience of being completely alone that birthed the gift of communion with God for us.  

Jesus had to be completely alone so that we could be ushered into the glorious presence of the Father.

Writer, Shannan Martin, beautifully shares this truth about loneliness...

"But there's a big difference in being alone and feeling forgotten or unseen."

She goes on to say,

"In recent years, I've faced this struggle more than ever before.  Though fleeting, it always remembers my name.  It hits in waves and leaves me gulping, flailing. I don't understand why God allows it. Shouldn't my faith be all the protection I need against this peril?

...I finally recognized the power Satan has over me in this area.  I hand him this weapon and he finds it quite effective.  If he can convince me I'm alone in the world, I willingly fork over a portion of my holiness, no questions asked.  He fuels my pain as I lash out or become withdrawn or paranoid.  He greases the wheels of vindictiveness and I ride.  He double-binds me to myself - a guaranteed recipe for disaster."

Shannan's words resonate with me and sometimes I just look up at God and I say, with a sense of yearning in my voice, "God, no one here 'gets me'."  There are some days on this earth, that are populated with billions of people, that I feel all alone.  

I want to be understood.  I want someone to care on a level that is beyond human....

How true that loneliness brings us to the edge of ourselves.  I believe that He calls me to that lonely place so that there is no place else to go but to dive off the cliff and into Him.

Knowing the pain of loneliness is not necessarily a curse...it is a bridge that takes us into the lonely places in others so that we might be the hands and arms of Christ that provide comfort.

It takes pain to know pain...perhaps the pain of loneliness is a gift??

I have found, though, in my life that there have been times that God has had to remove all the comfortable people around me so that, in my loneliness, He can be my enough.

So why all this talk on loneliness right after we've celebrated the gift of Emmanuel - God with us?  Often, after our mountaintop experiences, we must go back down the mountain and live in the valley.  

My prayer is that I...that you...will carry the gift of Emmanuel with you as we go forward into the new year.  He is always there and has promised "never to leave nor forsake you."

I also believe my feelings of loneliness serve to remind me that I am just a tramp at the manger...passing through.  I gaze at the Nativity scene and I realize that baby Jesus is alive.  He sees me.  He knows me like no one else does and He will come back for me one day. 

I know this because He promised me He would come again...

Meanwhile, my loneliness is a reminder that I am not yet home.  It's an ache that won't be entirely filled here on this earth.  I will not be satisfied until that one glorious day when I am in daily, in-person, communion with Him.

How about you?  How are you feeling after the celebration of Emmanuel?  Is there still a part of you that is lonely...that feels like the world just doesn't "get you" sometimes?  If so, you're not alone.  

Dear Heavenly Father,  thank you for reminding me that "alone" doesn't exist within the bounds of your love for me.  Thank you for "getting me".  Help me when I want to turn to others for affirmation of You - let me turn directly to You to fill me up and be my enough.  When I feel alone, let that be my signal that you are waiting in the wings wanting to draw near to me.  Remind me that when I promised to "take up my cross and follow you" that there would be lonely days.  Let me suffer like you have suffered rejection, Lord, so that I can reach out to others who are feeling alone.  Enable me to be your hands and feet.  Let my loneliness be a gift to others.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Be blessed...

ps.  We are really in need of gifts for Redeemer Christian Foundation, Inc. so that we can make a wise decision in January of 2017 if God would have us expand our school to serve more orphaned and destitute children in the Middle East - offering them an education and a life-giving transformation in knowing Christ as their Savior.  
If you can, please donate by midnight Dec. 31st.



Thank you.....

25 comments:

  1. We don’t often think of loneliness as a gift, but I love how you point out its positive aspects to draw us to Jesus and the bigger picture of eternal life.

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  2. Lisa,
    No, I never really thought of loneliness as a gift, but in my own experience it has served to draw me closer to the Lord. That perpetual homesick ache reminds me that the best is yet to come!
    Blessings,
    Bev

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  3. Satan is a master at finding our weak spot, then poking and stabbing us again and again in that one area. That wise second paragraph you quote from Shannan Martin could be applied to any number of weapons he uses against us. Turning them into GIFTS, with the power of God's Word and his Holy Spirit's help, is the way to deliverance. Thank you, Bev!

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    1. Nancy,
      How willingly we hand over weapons to the enemy which we know will hurt us. We give him more power and credit than he deserves. If we do have weaknesses, I agree that with the power of God's Word and His Holy Spirit, we can draw close to Him and He will turn them into strengths. Strengths because we are relying on Him.
      Blessings and thanks for your insights,
      Bev

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  4. I appreciate this reminder that loneliness is only one symptom of the truth that all of our needs will not be fulfilled on this planet. God intends for us to need Him most of all, and sometimes this is not a comfortable place to be -- but the end result is a deeper walk with Him.
    Blessings to you, Bev, as we begin a new year in this following life.

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    1. Michele,
      Loneliness as a "symptom"....I like this. A symptom that needs a cure not a band aid...a reminder that I need God and the loneliness draws me into a deeper walk with Him. Always love your insights!!
      New Year blessings friend,
      Bev xx

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  5. Thanks so much, Bev, for reminding me again that often my expectations of others are WAY TOO HIGH! And then loneliness results. I want to press in for more fellowship with my Savior.

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    1. Betsy,
      I join you with my "expectation meter" always set on "high". It's always a recipe for disappointment. Joining with you in pressing in for more fellowship with our Savior in 2017!
      Blessings friend,
      Bev xx

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  6. Bev, this is a very thoughtful, well-written post. I am well acquainted with loneliness and like you, some of the most painful times were within marriage. Yet, as difficult as it has been, my loneliness was the most powerful catalyst for my closeness with God. I can see a direct correlation. So even though I don't want to relive lonely years, I can say with confidence that they drew me closer to God. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I'm visiting from #livefreethursday.

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    1. Sarah,
      "My loneliness was the most powerful catalyst for my closeness with God." AMEN! I share honestly because I want others to find a measure of hope in their loneliness that God is up to something good - drawing us into a deeper and more life-giving walk with Him.
      Blessings to you in the New Year,
      Bev xx

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  7. Thank you for this reminder Bev. In those lonely times, I can see I was not giving God my time, and he brought me to my knees so I would come back to Him. And through that alone feeling he is working through me to show compassion to others who feel alone.

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    1. Janna,
      Like you, I have been brought to my knees and it was the best blessing I could have received. Thank you for allowing it to compel you to reach out in compassion vs. harboring bitterness. May you be richly blessed!
      New Year blessings,
      Bev xx

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  8. Bev, thank you so much for your candid thoughts on this very important topic! Loneliness can be so hard, but praise God that we are never really alone! I'm so glad that Jesus "gets" us and understands our pain of loneliness, as you so eloquently described. His grace is sufficient, and I am so thankful that he is with us in the mountains and valleys. Blessings to you in the upcoming new year!

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    1. Christin,
      Big Praise that Jesus "gets" us!! He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows what we need. Sometimes the world has to be removed so that we can see only Him. Yes, He is with us on the mountains and in the valleys.
      Blessings back to you too in the upcoming year...thanks for sharing!
      Bev xx

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  9. Bev, yes, yes. More of us struggle with loneliness, betrayal, abandonment than we'd like to admit. And it comes in various guises, not just in marriage.

    I thank God for safe communities where we can offer each other the grace so very much needed.

    New Year's blessings to you, friend ...

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    1. Linda,
      Obviously, by the response to this post, I agree that more of us struggle with loneliness than we care to admit. I believe it comes to us so that we will seek comfort in the only place that can satisfy that deep longing in our soul. So glad for your presence and continual insight here..
      New Year's blessings to you sweet friend,
      Bev xx

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  10. Feelings of loneliness draw us into to realities...to God or away from God. I am thankful in those times where loneliness has gripped me that in the end I was always brought back to God. His will never leave nor forsake. Blessings for a beautiful and fulfilling new year!

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    1. Barbie,
      So true that loneliness either draws us into or away from God. I am so thankful, that even if we turn away...He keeps pursuing us. His love for us is that furious! Blessings to you for a new year filled with peace and promise.
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  11. Loneliness on earth is something that we all might have at some time or other. Knowing Christ can take away the earthly loneliness and replace it with hope - peace - joy and love. Teaching us to love one another helps us take the loneliness away from others.
    a lovely post.
    Blessings,
    Janis

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  12. Janis,
    So true - only Christ can take away our loneliness here on earth and give us the gifts of the Spirit. We search in all the wrong places to fill that lonely place, when He is the only answer. Wise words indeed. I can tell you have a heart for taking away the loneliness in others...welcome!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

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  13. I totally agree.
    God has given me years of loneliness, which I didn't like at the time, but looking back I see that those were years in which He drew me close and was the best Friend I could have ever asked for. I am actually thankful now for those years.
    Now I find that when I look for approval from others, it is because I have taken my eyes off of Him. Your friend from Glimpses.

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    1. Ruth,
      So true, that when we are looking for approval from others, it generally means we've taken our eyes off Him. I, too, am thankful for the lean and lonely years because they have deepened my relationship with Him. So glad to have you joining in here!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  14. I love how you say that loneliness brings us to the edge of ourselves. Sometimes that's where we need to end up to remember e have a big God to grab hold of who will draw us back to Him. I appreciate your lovely words today. They spoke to me in places I have experienced before. Happy New Year.

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    1. Mary,
      I know that God has taken you to the edge of yourself and you have trusted Him to catch you in His everlasting arms. Glad this post resonated with you my friend,
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  15. Bev, what a beautiful post. I love these words of yours, " Knowing the pain of loneliness is not necessarily a curse...it is a bridge that takes us into the lonely places in others so that we might be the hands and arms of Christ that provide comfort." Beautiful. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. And, thank you for linking up with me at #ChasingCommunity this morning! yay. :) Hope to visit with you again soon and catch up. :) xoxo

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