Sunday, July 30, 2017

Ode To Bat Wings, Chin Hairs, & Wrinkles


Hey Friend,

It's hard to believe that it's been a week already since I returned from the "She Speaks" conference sponsored by Proverbs 31 Ministries in Charlotte, NC.  It was truly a "mountaintop experience" and now I'm back, trying to live out what I learned in the valley.

I HIGHLY recommend this conference to anyone who loves to journal, write, speak, or has a book rumbling around in their cranium that wants to get out.  I have been blogging/writing for five years and I wish I had attended this conference years ago!  

There was so much to enjoy...the keynote speakers (who doesn't love Liz Curtis Higgs) were wonderful and the breakout sessions were so on target for the challenges and obstacles writers and speakers face.  There was also so much inspiration (breakout session by Jennifer Dukes Lee) on hope for the small time blogger in getting a book published...truly inspiring.

My favorite time of all had to be the Spirit moving as 800 women, who loved the Lord, and were sold out on spreading the Good News, joined their voices together in praise and worship.  I imagined that this was how heaven will sound with all the angels singing in harmony.

I do have to share one funny story....I apologize if this is too much information for some of you:

For this 56 year old gal, it's been two, almost three, years since I have had a period. I have officially declared myself through menopause (can I get an Amen?).  I've weathered the hot flashes, the mood swings, the going six months without a period and being on the verge of celebrating only for "my friend" to return :(.

Even my doctor confirmed that after 2-3 years it was safe to say I'd crossed the finish line.  That was until I went to She Speaks.  I don't know if it was the keynote sessions where all 800 women were joined together in one estrogen-infused room?  Or maybe it was the two pregnant women I sat between in a writers' break out session?  

No matter which way you slice it, the Monday morning after the conference "my friend" was back for what I hope will be one last hurrah!  You've got to be kidding I told myself.  I am guessing my body absorbed all those hormones through osmosis and had to say one last time, "I am woman, hear me roar!"

I think it's just a fluke and my body will get back in sync with the gray hairs, bat wings, chin hairs, and multiple wrinkles that tell my age.  

But you know what amazed me at the conference was just how beautiful all the women were!  And, it wasn't because they were young, slender, toned, and had flawless skin and uncolored hair.  

No, it was because they glowed with a beauty that could ONLY come from loving the Lord and being loved by Him. 

There were women there of all ages, shapes, colors, and sizes and they were ALL beautiful!!  I mean it...these women glowed!!  

I admit I used to be all hung up on outer beauty.  I even battled bulimia for awhile in my teens in order to be the mirror image of the models I saw in magazines.  As I've aged, however, I have come to a place of peace with my aging body and I am convinced that a woman who embraces 1 Peter 3: 3-4 is truly a woman of beauty in God's eyes....and after all, whose eyes are we after?

Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments[a] or fine clothes.Instead, it should consist of what is inside[b] the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes. (1 Peter 3: 3-4)

I have been having to make peace with each new addition to my "maturing" body...thigh dimples, gray hair, bat wings, chin hairs, varicose veins, jowl formation, turkey neck, and my own personal "inner tube" around my abdomen....have I covered it all?

Each new addition reminds me that I am not the pretty young thing I used to be when I was twenty, but I firmly believe we develop an inner beauty as we age (if we allow God to work on our heart as much as we work on our abs).  

It's a beauty that replaces pride with humility, hurriedness with patience, brashness with gentleness and kindness - it's a beauty that can only be born out of care, compassion, and love for others over love of self.

My identity has shifted from what the world thinks of me to what God thinks.  I am better able and suited to live my life for an audience of One and how relieving that is. Do I still get caught up in the world's idea of beauty - you bet, but God has been continually renewing my mind.

"Search my heart, Lord", is a dangerous prayer to pray, but God is so gracious that in addition to showing me what needs changing on the inside, He encourages me about what is good in me - the good that has come from praying , "Make me more like Jesus, God."

So, as I pluck my chin hairs and see new gray hairs popping up daily, I try to look at them as badges of living.  My eye wrinkles tell tales of much laughter and many tears. They show that I have lived.  If this is how I look having been loved well by the Lord, then so be it.

So instead of singing my ode to bat wings, chin hairs, and wrinkles, let my song be one of praise for the inner beauty God brings out as I continue to grow in likeness to His Son.  

This beauty never fades....in fact it becomes more radiant the more we give our heart over to Jesus.  

What about you?  Would you say you are aglow with the inner beauty of knowing the love of the Lord for you?  What keeps you hung up on outward appearances?  Whose approval are you seeking?  The world's?  God's?  How might God be calling you to let go of old ways of thinking?

Dear Heavenly Father,  I praise you and thank you that, unlike the world that looks upon outward appearances, You look at the heart. Thank you for loving me with a love that surpasses all understanding. Enable me to be brave enough to pray, "Search my heart Oh Lord", and if there is anything that is not of you, remove it and give me a heart of flesh like Jesus.  Let my beauty be defined by how I love you and how I love and care for others.  Less of me, more of You....let that be my beauty secret. In the precious name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

Be blessed...
ps.  This post also inspired by a recent post by Sarah Mae at (in)courage.me.

37 comments:

  1. Yes, the unfading beauty is one that we all can pursue together -- no competition, no worries about the effects of aging, and all rejoicing about the wisdom that comes with advancing years. Let it be so!

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    1. Michele,
      Yes, unfading beauty. Developing an inner beauty in God is like finding the fountain of youth. And, no competition and comparison - every woman's worst enemy. Great insight!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  2. What a fabulous event, Bev!!!
    And I had to laugh at your "friend" coming!! That's happened to me when I attend my knitting retreat. Even though all of the women are older---it's all those hormones in one place!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    1. Jodie,
      She Speaks was wonderful - you need to go next year!! Hopefully you won't come home with the same "souvenir" that I did lol!
      Blessings,
      Bev xo

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  3. Dear Younger Sister, you are so wise! I tend to foget, that while I don't always make the best choices for my body, this is the "temple" God gave me to work with. I'm so glad you were blessed at the conference and already spreading that grace to those around you. Have a beautiful day!

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    1. Alice,
      It's good that you point out that our bodies are God's temple and we DO need to treat them with respect, love, and care, but like all glorious temples we need to learn to age gracefully, knowing that some of that aging gives us character. You would love She Speaks!! So good to see you here!!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  4. I would like nothing better than for "my friend" to go away and never return. ;-) But I'm where you are in a lot of ways - trying to deal gracefully with my aging body while still trying to develop inner beauty.

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    1. Kym,
      It's a balance, isn't it?! Self care is important especially as we age and God doesn't say neglect your body, but He does put greater emphasis on cultivating inner beauty which comes from spending time in His presence. Thanks for your thoughts!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  5. I'm glad you had a good time at She Speaks- it sounds wonderful! And I love the reminder that inner beauty is what we should be seeking to develop. It's easy to get caught up in how things look outwardly but I agree, there is a beauty that shines from people who are deeply in love with Jesus and that's the kind of beauty I want to have.

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    1. Lesley,
      It is SO easy to get caught up in outward appearances - every wrinkle cream ad screams, "Don't let your wrinkles show!" Not that we want to disregard our appearance, but we don't want it to become our idol. I'm joining with you in wanting to cultivate that unfading inner beauty!!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  6. Ummm... and what is up with wearing the smooth supportive underwear that only pushes the belly fat up to places I still don't like to see under my dresses?? Really?? Lol!! I am with you all the way as I am 53 and can laugh at all of life's battle scars on my body. It is what it is. Focusing on our inner beauty is what pleases God. All about maintaining the right balance. The world's approval is fleeting but God's stamp on our inner beauty is eternal... hope "your friend" bids you a fond farewell and SO very glad you enjoyed your weekend away at the conference. Xo

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    1. Lisa,
      Ahh, yes, Spanx....I kind of look at them like sausage casing. That fat and rolls have to go somewhere - it's just are they going to poke out in the middle or be squeezed to overflow at the top?? Like war veterans, we do have battle scars that we can be proud of because God brought us through the battles. The world's approval IS fleeting, but a woman who loves the Lord is to be praised. Loved the time away and now playing catch up....
      Blessings sweet friend,
      Bev xx

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  7. Three responses come to mind for this post: 1)You're done with hot flashes?! Well, there's a praise report right there! I am 68 and STILL experiencing them. I've taken a number of different herbal supplements and over-the-counter medications. Some have worked for awhile, but they eventually lose their effectiveness. At least I don't soak the bed with night sweats like some women, the poor souls. 2) The "She Speaks" conference sounds wonderful. Would love to attend myself one of these years! Wouldn't it be fun to meet up there?! 3) Bev, the conclusion of your prayer articulated my heart's desire as well: " Let my beauty be defined by how I love you and how I love and care for others. Less of me, more of You....let that be my beauty secret." (LOVE that beauty secret!!)

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    1. Nancy,
      You HAVE to attend at least one She Speaks conference - you would love it!! And I'd love to chat with you across a table face to face. You have so much wisdom to share!! I'm so sorry you are still experiencing hot flashes...I know I'll get them still occasionally. Does your doctor say that's okay?? Just concerned....As for the last line of my prayer - God truly handed me that one. I can't take credit!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  8. I’m glad to hear more about the conference, Bev. It sounds so wonderful! Maybe I’ll show up one year. I’m still waiting for “my friend” to go away. ha. One of these days it will happen, right??? My sister had a similar guest appearance like you did after 2-3 years absence. I guess some friends just love us too much to leave. ha.

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    1. Lisa,
      The waiting for it to finally end and the teasing that goes on is awful....I feel your pain. Eventually this too shall pass! Someone told me I should go get it checked out since so much time has passed, but I still truly think being among all those glorious women got the pipes flowing again?? We'll see. Yes, you have to come to She Speaks!! Just once!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  9. Bev, there is something beautiful and powerful about so many women singing praises to our Father. It leaves me in a place of awe when my voice joins with hundreds of others singing melody and harmony to the One who gave us voices and words.

    And, my friend, you are beautiful—both inside and out. The depth of God's work in your life causes you to shine His love and glory.

    Loved this post. L-O-V-E-D I-T. Hugs!

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    1. Jeanne,
      How how I loved the singing and I don't even have a good voice, but I loved listening to those around me who did. It was truly like angels!! One day ALL believers will be singing in unison and every knee shall bow. Thank you so much for your sweet words. Many days I don't feel like I shine or I've lost my luster. God has done great things in my life and my desire is to give Him all the glory. Glad you enjoyed this post :)
      Blessings and ((hugs)),
      Bev

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  10. Hi Bev, What a fun post! I'm 54, so I know how you feel! I loved how you said, "I firmly believe we develop an inner beauty as we age (if we allow God to work on our heart as much as we work on our abs)." Amen to that!

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    1. Alyson,
      I know my abs are under there somewhere?? LOL. It's truly a balance of keeping our bodies healthy so we can serve Him and keeping our hearts in tune with His so we can shine forth His love. I'm working on both....
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  11. Amen and amen! I love Martina McBride's song, This One's for the Girls. Every laugh line on your face; made you who you are today!

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    1. Debbie,
      Hadn't heard that song....but I like the lyrics!! So much of life is "engraved" on our face, if you will. Those lines represent lost of tears, but lots of laughter too! Our faces tell our story!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  12. Love Love Love Love Love. And what was with that 'event' ??? Crazy but I'm going with the osmosis theory!

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    1. Susan,
      Not quite sure what was with the event, but that certainly wasn't the type of "souvenir" I wanted to bring home lol. Well worth it though!! You gotta go next year - you're not that far :)
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  13. I've always desired to go to a blog conference. I've been at this 9 years and can never seem to afford to get there. I am so thankful that you go to go. It's so important that we embrace our changing bodies. I so understand about the unexpected friend (although I was declared post manopausal at the age of 49), chin hairs, red skin and the like. We only get better with age, right?

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  14. Bet, I'm SO glad I stopped by here today (seeing you on the ChasingCommunity link). And I'm glad to hear someone share from the TMI category. I turned 60 this year and coupled with a big career shift looming it's been a struggle more than any other time in my life. You've righted my perspective and share smiles and laughs at the same time. Thanks for your fresh, honest words.

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    1. Debby,
      I'm so glad you weren't offended by my TMI approach. I am praying for your career shift...isn't it amazing how God is constantly molding and changing us and calling us to different pursuits throughout our lives?! May you look in the mirror and see the beautiful daughter that God has made you....your beauty will shine :)
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  15. Apparently estrogen is trans-dermal. :) I'm sorry, that's not very friendly of your friend to return sans invitation. So thankful to have that phase of life behind me. Hope this is her last "hurrah" for you. ((hug)) But, you're so right--aging has a way of softening as it's wrinkling. :) Love the softer side, the wiser side, the lovelier side of gracefully growing in the Lord. (You're still beautiful, btw!) :) ((xoxo))

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    1. Brenda,
      It must be trans-dermal....don't know what other explanation there could be?? I really like how you put it...."Love the softer side, the wiser side, the lovelier side of gracefully growing in the Lord." Amen!! Thanks for your encouragement :) Love you sweet friend,
      Bev xx

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  16. How wonderful that you got to go to SheSpeaks! I went in 2014. Would love to read more about your main takeaways from speakers. :) And that's pretty funny about your friend showing up.

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    1. Betsy,
      Maybe you can go next year?? Would love to meet up with you live and in person!!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  17. Bev, I have so enjoyed reading about SheSpeaks. I would imagine there was much beauty and goodness in each and every session. May we embrace the many changes which occur in our bodies and lives as He has them each under His control and in His plan. Blessings, sweet friend!

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    1. Joanne,
      I loved "She Speaks"....I know you would love it too! I wish I had gone years ago. Maybe you can join us next year (hint, hint). Thank you for the reminder that all these changes are under His control.
      Blessings back to you sweet friend,
      Bev xx

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  18. Going to any conference is financially unattainable for me, so I just read about you ladies who've been able to go to things like that. I embraced my own "friend" finally leaving me alone ten years ago (I'm 60) and praise that it's over. I don't worry about the body changes (not that I ever really cared even in my younger years)... I'm focused on my "God changes"... always digging into His Word and living for Him as best I can, batwings and all. Ha! Blessings to you, Bev!

    Visiting you via Barbie's #glimpesofhisbeauty... I'm in the #23 spot.

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    1. Diana,
      Sounds like you have the right attitude and perspective!! So thankful you popped over to share from Barbie's link-up! Welcome, so glad you're here!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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  19. Oh my word, how terrible about the friend returning! Hopefully this was the last of him. :-O Thanks for sharing about She Speaks, Bev. I agree- it is a fantastic conference. They truly set the bar high with the speakers and the entire experience. So glad you got to go!

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    1. Abby,
      No, not quite the souvenir I wanted to bring home lol. She Speaks is a wonderful conference for writers...I hope you get a chance to go - you would glean so much and be encouraged!
      Blessings,
      Bev xx

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